What Comes Next
by KittySalt
Summary: Andreyna Call wants desperately to escape the Candor life, and the watchful eyes of her overbearing mother. So when the Choosing Ceremony comes around it's no surprise she chooses to leave, but what surprises await her in her new Faction. This is the story of her Initiation process. Set before Tris' initiation but after Four and Eric. Eric/OC. Rated M to be safe. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer/ AN: Hey there folks, I recently watched Divergent, and got back into the story (a lot) So I decided to make this. It happens before Tris, but after Four's initiation. It centres around an OC of mine, and her initiation experience (and maybe a little romance with a certain Dauntless leader.)

I own nothing of the Divergent trilogy that you recognize and mostly everything you don't. So without further ado, here's the story. Please read and review because I love your comments, criticism, and over all feedback.

Today was the day. It was the day I finally got to choose; the day my life would finally start. I could finally live how I wanted to live.

I smoothed out my pleated black skirt and adjusted the collar to my starched white blouse. My eyes danced across the mirror, nervously checking and rechecking the anxious girl who sat before me. My hands skimmed my hair for the third time since the clock struck 10:45, fingers gliding through my long coffee tresses. Normally my hair would be confined to a tight braided bun, to keep it off my face, today I was allowed to leave it loose. Today I was finally allowed to let my hair down. I ran my hands through one more time, relishing in its freedom. I heard a knock on my door. Interrupted.

The only problem with Candor was how open it all was; how I was never just alone. I could certainly speak my mind, and I loved the freedom I was alloted to do so, but with everyone speaking their minds, it could get unavoidably invasive. I had my business but someone always had to make it their business too. I was all for sharing, but when everyone is just waiting for their turn to speak, why bother opening up at all. The door opened with a presumptuous_ creak_.

My hair slipped through my fingers and cascaded down to my waist as my mother entered. Her emerald eyes inspected my appearance, and though dressed in my best outfit, I felt naked. I always felt naked under the scrutiny of my Candor born mother.

"Andreyna," my mother sighed, "your hair is everywhere, I can't see your eyes."

My eyes, the only feature my mother deemed acceptable, were a pale moss green, that came from the slate of my father and the emerald of my mother. My mother swept all the hair from my face with her precise hands smiling into my reflection. She never thought I was pretty. She'd always tell me to wash my face as if the dusting of freckles would simply wipe away, to pull my messy hair off my face, or advise against sucking my lower lip because my lips were too swollen to begin with. My eyes were the only feature she would ever praise if only because they were sharp enough to cut through her shield.

"It's my choosing ceremony mother. I will wear my hair how I want." I replied simply.

I saw her purse her lips as she always did when I did not let her have her way. Some days I would give in, if only to keep peace, but today was my day. I didn't feel like getting pushed around.

"Very well. We will be leaving shortly and we simply must be punctual," After brushing my hair off my face one last time she swept out of my room, leaving me to my thoughts.

Today I would be choosing the Faction in which I would spend the rest of my life. I would not be choosing Candor, after sixteen years of blunt candidness I knew it was not for me. I felt absolutely no desire to join the Abnegation, even on my best day I wasn't a 'people person', not to mention I avoided the Factionless like the plague. Amity was my ideal Faction when I was little, I dreamed of wearing a flowy, worn red dress and romping around the apple orchards with the sun on my freckles. Once I grew up and realized how vapidly sweet the Amity were and how cruel I could be that dream died out quite quickly. I would gladly sell my soul to Erudite if it meant I could spend my days drowning in literature, but I dreaded the stuffy conversation and mental pissing-matches that the Erudite at school fancied. The Dauntless were in a word fierce, and I longed to have the confidant encompassing air that filled one up and satisfied their need for adventure, but I would never be that brave, I couldn't even tell my mother to back-the-hell-off. I felt a piece of each Faction pulling me in and in the same moment other parts of it chewing me up and spitting me out.

My Aptitude Test was an event I shuddered to think about. Given the choice between meat and a knife, I grabbed the knife without thinking, cutting my simulation-self in the process. Then I heard a growl from behind and whirled around to face a vicious dog, baring its teeth and seemingly daring me to make a move. Taking a tentative step back it charged me. Without thinking I raised the cold silver knife and felt the blade sink into the dogs chest. Turning, I brought the dog down with me and collapsed over its warm, motionless body. I heaved out a dry sob as the room around me became fuzzy and translucent. I should have just grabbed the meat. Why didn't I? The room around me came back into focus and in the back of my mind I tried to rationalize that the dog wasn't real. It was just a simulation. But it felt real. It felt like I'd killed the dog, like I'd dug my knife between its little ribs. I choked on another sob as I thought about what I'd just done. Barely hearing the calm Erudite woman say my result. Dauntless.

That day I'd been sent home due to emotional stress. That night I'd cried myself to sleep, ashamed that I'd ever used the knife. I cried for two more nights after that, but looking into my reflection at the puffy pathetic eyes that stared back changed something in me. It was either the dog or me. Self preservation had kicked in and I'd come out on top, I was still here. I had my life in front of me, and I refused to spend it crying my heart out.

"Andreyna!" My mother called from what sounded like the front hall, "It's time"

Oh dear. I looked to myself one last time. I didn't look like any certain Faction, but I knew I no longer looked like the Candor I had played the part of for sixteen years.

I stepped out from behind my mother and into the light of the cold circular room. Finding my seat among the other anxious faces that shone through the sea of black and white, I waited for my mother to file in next to me. I felt a tinge of guilt knowing I'd be leaving her today, alone. Although we never saw eye to eye, we were all each other had. I smirked to myself, Faction Before Blood I suppose.

My eyes glazed over as Janiene took the stage and the Ceremony began. Name after name were called. Faction after Faction were chosen. Yet here I sat still undecided.

"Andreyna Call," I heard a crisp voice call out through the opaqueness of my mind.

Shit. Butterflies erupted within me and I stood shakily. Maneuvering through the audience I took the stage and took in a deep breath. Steading my self I walked quickly to the five bowls in the centre of the room. Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation, Dauntless. I picked up the blade that sat on the table and sharply slit my palm. The room was silent, I was frozen in place. My eyes flitting back and forth between the bowls. I shut my eyes and let out my breath in a strong huff. My arm swung out and my mind was racing as I squeezed my palm over the bowl. I had finally made the decision and I hoped to hell it had been the right one. My blood hit the hot coals with a fulfilling _hiss_. The black clad crowd to my right exploded into roaring appreciation and I grinned ear to ear. I walked off the stage to my new seat hastily, I was met with smirks, smiles, and even a few hearty back pats. Grinning into my palm as I sucked the blood off my cut and watched the rest of the ceremony.

The Choosing ended and the fun began as the Dauntless around me stood and rushed to the exit. I was swept up in the crowd that was now running, full out, down the stairs to the exit. I guess we were going home now. I laughed loudly, letting go and running with the passion I'd never known I could feel. The wind rushing through my open hair, and the hollers of Dauntless around me. Cries of elation. The group ahead began scaling metal pillars the held the train tracks. Some were slowing and then climbing with skill, but most were simply jumping from the ground to the pillar and scaling it with reckless professionalism. I opted to stop and find my footing as I climbed cautiously to the top, never looking down.

Clambering over the top of the pillar, I found myself surrounded by Dauntless on the train platform. I knew from observation that we'd have to jump onto the train, while it was moving. I pushed the danger to the back of my mind as I heard the call of a girl, struggling to make it to the crowded platform. Reaching out my hand I felt her tight grip on me as I pulled her towards the centre, away from the edge.

"Thanks. I'm Nadia," She smiled, I felt her smile takeover my mind and found myself smiling widely back to her. Great she was happy, and infectious.

"No problem, I'm Andreyna. You ready to hop a train," I laughed. Hopefully my nerves didn't reach my voice. She just laughed.

"Not even close, but I love that nervous feeling, you know what I mean"

"Yes, oddly enough I know exactly what you mean,"

"You're pretty chill for a Candor," She teased, her smile growing to unveil dimples and gleaming white teeth. Her blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair fitted her like a glove. But the faded yellow cotton sundress did not.

"And you're pretty wild for an Amity," I laughed. Motioning to her out of place wardrobe.

"Always have been," She winked "Now hurry or we'll miss our ride,"

She was right. The train was coming in full speed around the corner and the seasoned Dauntless members had begun running along the tracks, gaining momentum for the jump.

I took off at full speed, my skirt and blouse making it a challenge. A handle caught my eye to the right and I grabbed it mid leap. I felt hands around my waist pulling me in and the full compartment swallowed me. I'd made it. I heard a wild laugh to my left and grinned. Nadia had made it too. Her yellow sundress stood out against the black around us.

"I doubt I'll ever get tired of that," She sighed contently. The adrenaline obviously affected us quite differently. I felt electrified. And I loved it.

We spent the remainder of the short train ride talking animatedly about the Choosing Ceremony and the Factions and family we were leaving behind.

"Get ready!" a man yelled above the noise. I watched in awe as the doors opened and Dauntless members began throwing themselves off the fast train. They were flying, each and every one of them completely in their element. I wanted to find myself in my own element. I saw them land, powerfully on the roof ahead and I backed up to take my flight. One, inhale. Two, exhale. Three, GO. I flung myself from the wall of the train at a run and jumped as my feet ran out of runway. I was flying for seconds but it felt like forever. I fell to the roof and rolled across the gravel. So I wasn't graceful yet; I was fully intending to practice this as much as possible. I stood and brushed myself off, joining the group of thirty-something initiates around me. A mess of black, blue, white, and yellow.

"Alright Initiates listen up," Looking up to the owner of the dangerous velvet voice, my heart thudded to a stop and then revived with a breakneck tempo. My mind, body, and soul were humming.

Holy shit. _Who was that_.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer/ AN: I own nothing recognizable. And if you read this next chapter and wonder what's going on, don't worry I've made some slight changes. Eric is not a Dauntless leader yet, cause what Faction in their right mind would allow the leadership to go to a member who has only been an official Dauntless for 2-3 years?! For now he's Primary Trainer, alongside Four. (and they're sort of friends, because neither of them have been offered leadership yet.) You dig. Okay lets get started.

He stood perfectly poised, leading me to believe he was not Dauntless born. Though the amount of tattoos and piercings he had would lead one to think he was as Dauntless as them come. He'd forsaken his old Faction the minute he'd made his choice. His cold, solid eyes deneyed the Amity, and the confidence surrounding him rejected Abnegation. I'd never seen him around Candor, I would've definitely remembered him. He was dressed in all black, which suited him better than the Erudite blue would ever have done. His steel-blue eyes looked sharper than glass, and his face, though straight, held a wicked smirk beneath the surface. He was like the burning flame that you couldn't look away from, even though your eyes ached. I was enamoured.

"You made it on the train, you made it off the train. Now, you have do one last thing," The piercings in his lip glinted as his mouth tugged up in a racy half smile.

"Do I have any volunteers,"

I wished I could say that I'd made the decision on my own. That it had been purely my idea and free will that drove me to the edge of the roof. But that would've been a lie, and I wasn't a Candor transfer for nothing. Truthfully it had more to do with the dazzling devil in front of me, than my own free thinking. I felt hot gazes on me as I made my way to the front of the group.

"Alright Initiate, I want you to jump," my eyes widened as I looked to him.

"Jump, like off the roof," I clarified. My voice thankfully wasn't betraying how timid I really felt.

"Yes, like off the roof," He mocked as I stepped up onto the thin ledge, still facing the crowd of soon-to-be Dauntless. I looked over my shoulder to see a dark, jagged, gaping hole in the pavement. I was reasoned that they wouldn't intentionally kill off all their new initiates.

"Okay," I said, to myself more than the expectant faces in front of me.

"Sometime today would be nice," The tattooed man smirked sharply. "Oh and Candor, tell me honestly, are you afraid."

My eyes flew open and I glared at him. Taking the bait like he knew I would.

"You wish," I jeered. Leaning backwards my eyes fluttered shut as I felt gravity pull me towards the black unknown.

I landed with an unceremonious bounce on a large net. I bounced three more times, a relieved grin spreading across my face, before feeling the net tip and rolling into the arms of the guy I supposed was helping the jumpers. He had an impassive face like the tattooed guy, but where he was cold this new face seemed warmer.

"What's your name Initiate," his deep voice cut through my adrenaline rush like a dull blade.

"Um, I'm, ah," I hated Andreyna, It was my mothers choice for me, not my own. I got a fresh start here, I could be anyone to them.

"I'm Reyna. Reyna Call," I smiled shortly, Reyna sounded strong.

"Well Reyna, welcome to Dauntless," He said, unsmiling. "Reyna Call First Jumper,"

I met back up with Nadia when our group took a tour of the Dauntless Compound. It was huge and exactly how I pictured, it even had a tattoo place in the centre of the compound called The Pit. The tour ended with our sleeping quarters for the Initiation process. We had to share with the guys, but they'd probably already seen everything I had to offer -and more- so it wasn't a concern of mine. I was, however, concerned of the state of the bathrooms. Obviously cleanliness wasn't a commitment here. We were given clothes to change into before dinner. I gathered myself on a bunk in between Nadia and a quite Erudite named Geoff. I laid out the black garments in front to me. There was a fitted black tanktop, made of a flexible fabric to ideally suit training and a form fitting cotton shirt. There were black leggings, running shorts, or loose fitting pants of the same fabric as the top. I changed into the leggings and the cotton shirt, opting to feel comfortable for my first Dauntless meal. Nadia had on a similar outfit, we bundled up our old clothes as instructed and made our way to the mess hall.

On our way to dinner we had to burn our old clothes. I did so gladly, and from the spirited words of Nadia, I could tell she felt the same. We entered the loud hall to find it full of rowdy Dauntless shovelling in their meals and talking animatedly. All the tables were occupied so we chose one that was a little more vacant than the others. Geoff, was sitting there with two other guys, and a girl I recognized from Candor.

"Hey, Geoff right," Nadia greeted from beside me with a smile, Amity habits die hard.

"Yeah, that's right. You're Nadia, and you're the first jumper. What was your name," He motioned between us, with a mouthful of food.

"I'm Reyna," I answered inelegantly, "And you are," I added, looking to the other Initiates with Geoff.

"Paul," Said a solid blonde. His brown eyes looked too kind to be Dauntless.

"I'm Halen," The cocky blue eyed boy next to Paul said. He winked at us with his charming smile turned on to full blast.

"I'm Dhani, But I hope you already knew that," The Candor girl laughed, Her black hair barely reached her chin and her grey eyes were heavily lined with black kohl. She looked the part of Dauntless comfortably and quickly. I envied her for it.

"Who's that guy with the stick up his ass," Dhani pointed to the tattooed guy from earlier. He looked about twenty, but it was hard to say.

"That's Eric," Geoff answered, his mouth yet again full. I took a bite of my own meal and glanced in his direction. "He was an Erudite transfer about two years ago, Dauntless suits him though. He was far too wild for Erudite standards. Wicked smart though." Geoff finished his biography with a sip of water.

"He's gorgeous," Dhani quipped, flashing her eyes to him in a predatory once-over.

"In that chew-your-head-off way," Paul laughed, nudging the small girl in her side.

"Certainly not someone I'd want to go a few rounds with," I lied; I wasn't a transfer for nothing.

"I could go more than a few rounds with him," Dhani smiled suggestively. I didn't like her.

"You say that about every guy Dhan. You're a bigger flirt than I am," Halen laughed, his perfect teeth making another dazzling appearance.

"Attention," A man of about thirty took the attention of the room. "I'd like to welcome our new Initiates. You have a hard few weeks ahead, but if you're truly Dauntless, we will look forward to your success." He finished to a clatter of metal cups against tabletops. The people around us had stood and we followed suit. Before I knew what was going on the ground beneath my feet fell away and I was held horizontal above the heads of the cheering Dauntless members. The elation from earlier today rushed back tenfold. The smile that donned my face stretched wider than my face should've allowed. I whooped for joy and was met with hollers from the people around me. I found Nadia in the sea of hands we were floating on, she laced her fingers through mine. We lived that moment to the fullest. We were on our way.

That night I crashed onto my bunk and into sleep within minutes. I had training tomorrow, bright and early, and if I was going to rise, I might as well shine.

Training started earlier than anticipated. The bunks we'd slept in seemed to triple in comfort and gravity was holding me hostage under the covers. A loud groan rumbled in my throat as I built up the energy to throw the blankets aside and start my first dauntless day. I'd finally gotten vertical when the net attendant from yesterday entered the room.

"Initiates to the training room in five. You're late you're out." He stated loudly before turning to exit as stoically as he'd entered. Ray of sunshine, I muttered. But shit if that wasn't incentive. I was not losing my chance at life just because I couldn't get my rear in gear.

I threw my training tanktop on over the black sports bra I'd slept in and Quickly pulled on the running shorts. I didn't want the others to know I only slept in my underwear, which was black too. Braiding back my hair, and brushing my teeth I was ready for training so I found Nadia and Geoff and we ran to the room.

It was a large, warehouse like room with high glass ceilings and pillars every few feet. It was empty, excluding the large floor mats and hanging punching bags. We gathered in the middle of the room and waited for the others to arrive.

The net attendant from before was muttering something to Eric. Were they our trainers? Part of me hoped so, the other part of me was still curled up in bed. I looked around at the group of Initiates. Geoff was glancing apprehensively between Eric and the other, seeming to wonder what I'd just wondered. Nadia was tying up her beautiful hair, it glowed as if the sun of the Amity orchards still shone upon it. Paul was standing idly near Halen and Dhani. The two of which seemed to laughing to themselves about something. There were a large group of Dauntless born Initiates who I hoped weren't as skilled as they looked. A few more people ran into the room, their footsteps echoing on the concrete.

"Looks like you've all made it," The net attendant addressed our group. "I'm Four, I'll be your secondary instructor," He looked soberly to us all; again what a lovely guy. Very personable.

"And I'm Eric. I'll be your primary instructor." He looked to each of us, and I felt my insides hum as his eyes met mine.

"First off we'll be splitting you up, Dauntless born train with someone else, we train the transfers." I let out a breath of relief; they wouldn't overshadow us, at least not directly.

"Now then," Eric said, his velvet voice spilling out over the room. Echoing, composing me and unraveling me at the same time. "We will be starting with the combat section of your training, then we will cover mental training,"

"Run laps till I say otherwise," Four called out. Ugh, running for no reason was something I could never wrap my head around. I started laps in the back of the group, but picked up pace by the third go, leaving me somewhere in the middle. I was thankful of my choice in clothing this morning as I saw others stripping off layers and pulling at long sleeves and pant legs. Although I felt exposed in my shorts and short sleeves, I no longer felt the raw, unprotected feeling that suffocated me in Candor. I could be as closed off as I wanted to be here. I steeled my face and pushed myself faster as Four called out last lap. I contracted over myself as I slowed out of my sprint. I was the first one finished, although I was closely followed by Dhani and Paul. I would have to really work if I wanted to stay.

"Did you have a nice run Initiate," Eric said over my shoulder as I tried to regulate my rough breathing. His voice was barely above a whisper, but I knew everyone around us could hear it.

I was to tired to flutter from his breath on my neck. My blood was pumping due to the run, and maybe his closeness, but I was infuriated by his taunting. I had the right to ragged breathing if I'd just run laps with my heart and soul stomped into every footstep. Screw him; belittling my accomplishments like that.

"It was pretty nice, the scenery could've been better though," I bit at him, my eyes meeting his with the coldest glare I could muster. He cracked a grin, his eyes flashing with something I didn't quite catch. His eyebrow piercings following the brow that arched up to his dark blonde hair.

"Well, I'll be sure to give you something to look at next time," He smirked.

"Initiates on the ground for pushups," Four yelled somewhere off in the background. I dropped to the ground and started my pushups and thankfully Eric went to go watch over other initiates. He was even taunting some of the initiates, and in that light I could see just how intimidating he could be. _Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, keep going. _With my thoughts on my work out or Eric I'd completely forgotten about Four. He was walking along my row, throwing criticism and getting closer and closer. _Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, you can't be tired now. _My arms were burning and it was getting harder to come back up with each push. I had to continue, at least until three others dropped. I would not be the first to crack. But Four had other ideas.

"Are you going to break, Initiate." He spat. I thought Eric was nasty. "Truthfully, Candor you look weak. You'll never last in Dauntless so you should just drop out now," I was thoroughly pissed off. Who was he to judge me. To use my old Faction as an insult. Fuck him.

"I'm not Candor," I muttered. _Thirty-four, thirty-five, come on. Just do it, you are _not_ weak. _I could feel my muscles screaming at me to stop, but I couldn't give in; especially now. The other initiates were listening and stealing side glances at the scene he was causing. I wouldn't give up for him, or for them.

"What was that Initiate, did you say something. Even your voice is weak," Why was he so mean. He didn't seem like this yesterday.

"I am _not _a Candor," I practically shouted at him. _Fourty-three, fourty-four. Don't stop, you can't stop._

"Are you sure about that," Four got down to my level, right in my face, "Prove it, Initiate,"

I was going to break, I could feel it. My arms were going to snap. _Mind over matter. Mind. Over. Matter. Just three more, then we can stop. _

"You are breaking," He said, his harsh voice ripping through my head like a blade, "I can see it on your face,"

"Four!" Eric shouted from across the room, "This one's cracked," Motioning to his feet there was an Initiate I didn't recognize on the floor, beaten. Four glanced back to me but left me alone, with a sigh of relief I decided on three more pushups before my arms could have their sweet, sweet, letup.

Another Initiate hit the mat as I finished my second-to-last push, I hit the ground next. _Fifty. _I was done, satisfied with my score, but done. Nadia was the next to crack, then Dhani, followed by Halen. Geoff was next after that, his body slick with sweat, he'd worked hard. Three other nameless Initiates dropped after him, leaving only Paul. His somewhat hulking frame was steady as he carried on like it was nothing, it probably was. He looked calm, cool, and collected. Damn.

"Alright, break for lunch," Four yelled to the class, his jeer wiped and his face blank once more. I'd have to watch my back with him.

"My arms are crying," Nadia exclaimed as I fell into step beside her. Her usually beautiful hair was damply clinging to her face from our recent work out. No doubt I looked equally disheveled.

"I think that's just sweat Nads," I gave my exhausted impression of a grin. We followed the other Initiates into the mess hall and sat down at a long table. Eric and Four took seats across from each other at the end of the bench, each with one seat of isolation between them and us.

The food was good, really really good. I barely talked, or breathed, as I shovelled mouthful after mouthful of the fuel into my system.

"Damn Reyna, look at you go," Halen smirked over at me, his words sending the attention of others to me like a flare gun. I paused mid gulp.

"Who knew you had such a big mouth," Geoff laughed. I went a furious shade of red. Embarrassment was never my strong suit.

"What else can you fit in that mouth of yours," Halen said, his wink suggesting exactly what he thought would fit.

"Hey man, lay off," Paul said, straightening filling the space with his steady form. I looked away, the blush on my cheeks turned into a burning red. My eyes met that distinct steel-blue that I could both cut and comfort me. Eric, he looked away as soon as I met his questioning gaze, resuming his conversation with Four. I composed myself, and looked to Halen with a glare almost as sharp as his cheekbones.

"If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, why don't you save us both the time and go fuck yourself," I was met with a round of roaring laughter from the rest of the table, I think I even got Dhani's approval. But it wasn't their laughter that caught my attention. Both the secluded instructors had allowed themselves a moment from their surliness to laugh at Halen's expense.

I looked at them, and caught a glimpse of two genuine smiles I doubted I'd ever see again.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer/ AN: I Know this isn't the same initiation process we saw in Divergent, but I was writing this and it just came out this way. I also don't want to follow the Divergent storyline too closely for Reyna's initiation experience because it would match up too much with Tris' (What with the whole Trainer/ Initiate relationship) and it wouldn't be what I was going for. I own nothing of the Divergent trilogy. Read and Review, it would be greatly appreciated ;) (Ugh, winks are creepy, sorry!) Enjoy!

Lunch ended with no other altercations and training resumed full steam ahead. First we were taught defensive maneuvers to execute during a fight, then the offensive. I wasn't very good at it either; I had nearly no strength in comparison to the boys, and a few larger girls. Nadia had at least some from her apple picking days in Amity, and Dhani was fast enough that her little strength didn't matter. I was in for big trouble when the fights started, unless I could get it together. I needed an attack style that worked to my advantage but the problem was I didn't even know what advantages I had.

I let out my frustrations on the bright orange punching bag in front of me. Each punch landed weaker and sloppier than before. I was so irate that I didn't hear him behind me until his velvet voice was right beside me, louder than I'd cared for.

"Slow down, breathe, and start again," he instructed, coming to stand on my other side. I watched him walk around me, like a rabbit watches a wolf.

"You'll be no good in a fight if you can't use your mind for strategy or your eyes for accuracy,"

He chided me like a child, and I wanted to be better. I was pathetic.

"I'm not strong," I breathed, still laboured and shaking.

"No you aren't, but you are smart,"

"I, um,"

"You have to keep your head, think about where your opponent is weakest and strike fast," He brought his generous hands to my shoulders and my body hummed as he pulled me into position. His hands left my shoulders and trailed down my arms to my forearms, guiding them into weapons and making them strong. My mind was ablaze and so was my skin, could he hear my heartbeat, did he know what he was doing to me.

"Your stance is all wrong," I looked from his eyes to my legs as he used his knee to part my legs, into what I guessed was the proper stance. My stomach and chest burned when his hands straightened my hips, and came to rest on my waist. His breath in my ear sent a shiver down my spine. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"This is the perfect position," I heard the smirk on his voice, felt the blush on my cheeks.

Just as I was settling into his touch, he pulled away. I missed his closeness, but was glad; I could only take so much, and I was at Dauntless to be Dauntless, not to be someone's pet.

I returned to the punching bag, but kept in mind the lesson from Eric, that still burned on my skin. My punches landed harder, faster, and as accurately as a shapeless weighted bag would allow.

Training was over before I knew it.

Dinner was as uneventful as it could be at the Dauntless compound. We were all sore from a hard days work, but the food and the company was all we needed to forget the aches of our deserving muscles. I had a proud smile on my face and mind, that I could tell was shared with my fellow initiates.

After dinner we decided to go- Nadia, Geoff, Paul, Dhani, Halen, and I - to the pit and check out the festivities. There were fights, dancing, music, and general Dauntless noise that encased the pit in a carefree chaotic energy. We wandered in and out of the shops that lined the rocky pit walls.

Nadia, Dhani, and I wandered into a dress shop to get some dance worthy garments.

"Do you think the guys will like this," Dhani came out wearing the shortest black dress I'd ever seen. In fact, I'd seen tops longer than this dress. It showed way too much skin and Dhani was way too comfortable. I tried to bite my tongue. I really did try.

"It's way too short Dhan," I told her, "I mean, you've got the figure, but this is just too revealing,"

"Please, don't hold back," She laughed, careless to my worried opinions.

"Let loose a little Reyna. You're acting like a stiff," She turned to me with a dark mess of fabric in her hands, "Here, try this on and don't you dare think of hiding in the change rooms when you're done," I reluctantly accepted the clothes and made my way to the curtained change space. Nadia shot me a sympathetic smile on my journey.

It wasn't that bad, I turned, and turned again. It had a subtle fit and flare, that flirted against my thin waist and grazed my lower thigh. The neckline wrapped around in a criss cross leaving a diamond shaped gap that started just under my chest and ended just above my belly button. I gave one last twirl before showing the girls.

"Damn, you're actually hot," Dhani exclaimed appraising her work with a trained eye. I felt like I was on display in front of her, but it was her gaze not the dress, that caused this reaction. Nadia was grinning from ear to ear, I turned to her. I cared about her opinion because it would be more to my taste than Dhani's.

"What do you think," I asked, could they hear the vulnerability that I heard.

"I think it's perfect," Nadia gushed, "You should get it. We should each get a dress for dancing,"

And thats how an hour later we left the store, bags in hand. It was too late to dance that night but we fully intended to dance the next night, and the night after that, and the one after that.

I put my dress away with the rest of my clothes under my bed, and got under the covers in my stripped down state. I went to bed with a smile on my face, dreams of dancing and fighting and being Dauntless.

I wasn't expecting to be on the roof of the Dauntless building today so I shivered when the cold air hit my bare legs. Running shorts was not the best decision today; neither was the thin cotton v-neck. I was the only one who was cold, and the only one who was showing mass amounts of skin, but I wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable. We were awaiting instruction on the roof of the Dauntless building, targets and a table of guns leading me to suspect today was gun training. A gust of wind brought on another shiver.

"Glad to see me initiate," I turned to see Eric smirking at me, and was thankful I was slightly distant from the group. Four was carrying a case of something, to the table on the other side of the roof; we were alone.

"Y-you w-wi-wish," I shivered, causing him to throw his head back, a full velvety laugh dancing through my ears and warming my insides.

"Did you honestly think you could be up here without a jacket Candor," he said brushing past me, towards the group. I am_ not_ a Candor. I followed him until I stood, hidden in the throng of Initiates, between Paul and Geoff. I felt Pauls hot gaze burn into my neck, but I kept my eyes on Eric.

"Alright Initiates, I hope you all came prepared," Eric's glacial eyes scanned the crowd, landing pointedly on me. A felt another swift shiver run through me and steal away my warmth.

"We will be starting gun training today," Four took over demonstrating the a seamless version of loading and unloading a gun.

"Everyone grab a gun and get a target," Eric finished dismissing the group with a wave of his arms.

I grabbed a gun from Four and took a round of bullets to my target at the far end of the roof. Nadia's spot next to me was taken by the solid frame of Paul, who'd cocked his gun and was already shooting at his target with near deadly accuracy. This guy was supposed to be an Erudite Transfer?

I struggled trying to prop my gun on my leg and insert the polished bullets with only two hands, I was failing miserably. Paul noticed and grinned a dazzling smile as he came to my rescue. He took the gun from my fumbling hands,

"Not so good at this part are you," He laughed good naturedly, looking up through his windswept blonde hair, "I wasn't either but you'll learn quickly. It's not weak to accept help,"

_Asshole_, I thought bitterly. I smiled fakely -ugh I'm such a bitch, he just helped me- before turning back to my target. He's done nothing wrong, but I just got a bad vibe from that overly engineered perfection.

I hefted my gun up to my shoulder and pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind.

Breathing out I moved my finger over the trigger, inhaling again I pulled the cool metal towards me. I was expecting more of a boom, but I suppose thats what the earmuffs robbed me of. A smile graced my lips as I took a peek at my target, Just grazed the left shoulder, not bad. I tried this over and over, each time placing a little closer to the heart or head.

The wind picked up after lunch break, and I was still stuck in shorts and a t-shirt. Goose bumps changed my smooth skin into mountainous terrain as the time came for my evaluation. I felt Eric and Four behind me, each studying me intently, waiting like vultures for me to slip up.

I shivered uncontrollably as the gun hit the crook of my shoulder, I kept it tight and lined up the target with my scope. This was going to be bad, the scope was moving all over the place as my skin was tingling from the icy air. I ignored the feeling of dread in my gut and pulled the trigger. Way off. Shit; I needed to keep myself still or I was going to spend my life cuddling with the factionless. I had five shots to please the vultures, I breathed in and out before taking my second. Miss.

"Shit," I mumbled shuddering from the cold, hot tears filling in my eyes. The other Initiates had all stopped to watch, I couldn't let them see me fail, I couldn't let them see me weak. Crying like a pathetic child who couldn't keep up with the big kids. I didn't have an excuse, I was unprepared for the cold, that was my choice and it was my fault.

"Is there a problem Candor," Eric projected over the shrieks of wind, Disdain laced with concern seemed like an odd combination to come from his lips but I revelled in it all the same.

"I, uh. I'm sorry it's my fault, I forgot to grab a jacket and now I'm too cold to shoot straight. It's not an excuse, it's the truth and I take the blame for my lack of initiative," I looked past Eric. I couldn't meet his eyes and see the disgust. I wasn't Dauntless; Dauntless don't quit. Give up. Four met my watery gaze, his expression oddly soft. I looked away; his pity was almost worse.

I trembled- fucking pathetic- before I felt a heavy warmth fall over my shoulders. The bare forearms were all I could see, but I knew whose they were. I didn't need the conformation, but got it when I looked up to see Eric, now in only a sleeveless workout shirt. He gave a small smile, an open smile. It lasted only seconds but the after affects left me warm down to my core. Oh I was doomed if thats all it took to unravel me.

"Aim to the left, it'll compensate for your tendency to put weight on the right," Eric whispered, pulling his jacket tight around me. His, words echoed in my mind as I turned back, him yelling some choice words about my stupidity as he wandered back to Four. I knew it was just a show to make up for his act of kindness. I brought the gun up to my now still frame. I finger hovered over the trigger. I inhaled, steadying myself, and caught the scent of Eric washing over me. A clean, spicy citrus. I snapped back into focus at the cough of Paul to my left, and pulled the trigger. Exhaling in relief when I saw it hit the just under the heart. I checked my scope again and fired three more into the head. All dead shots. All because of me. Dauntless don't give up.

We finished up gun training just as the sun was disappearing behind the city skyline. I headed down the stairs at the tail end of the group who were all chattering about their shooting assessments. Paul had placed first for the day, leaving him in first place overall. Halen and Dhani closely followed. I was shocked to find that my fourth place in shooting today had left me in fifth overall, behind Geoff who was horrible at shooting so his second place had been demoted to fourth. Nadia was ninth. I was proud of my mark but I knew it was nothing compared to the Dauntless born who would've knocked me off the board if we'd been scored together.

"Candor," I turned and froze under the cold stare of Eric. He was standing on the steps above me, making him feel like a masterpiece on a pedestal. As if he needed to feel more unattainable. I hardened myself and met his gaze, I didn't have to act like a pitiful pawn, even if I was one.

"Yes," I asked, matching his closed off, questioning tone. He looked so damn good in that shirt. I was going crazy.

"Good shooting out there Initiate, but I'll need my jacket back," I saw his jaw click, was he upset about something. Oddly I dreaded not knowing why he was so guarded. I'd left Candor for the same need to be guarded. The same inquisition that plagued my mind now always irked me before.

"What," I faded back to the conversation a beat to late. He smirked at catching me off guard.

"I need my jacket Initiate," He slowly enunciated every word, rubbing in my face the fact that I'd been absent during his first attempt. My cheeks heated up. Fuck, no stop blushing, I reprimanded myself at how schoolgirl I was acting.

"Oh yeah, I forgot I had it," I stripped the warm material off my shoulders and shrugged, reluctantly, away from it's feel. I knew his eyes were sweeping my body, like mine had his. It felt awkward taking off his clothing under his gaze, but an odd rushing sensation filled my veins too.

"Here, thanks by the way," I tossed the jacket up to him and he caught it effortlessly.

"No problem, but don't make a habit out of being unprepared. I would hate for this to happen again," Eric shrugged on his jacket and started down the stairs brushing past me. I was left on the stairs with the most unusual feeling of being full and empty at the same time. If initiation doesn't kill me, He would.

Lunch break was uneventful, at least by Dauntless standards, although we did manage to catch a glimpse of the Dauntless Born Initiates we we're up against. I felt like I'd felt on my seventh birthday when my parents had forgotten and my birthday was spent just like every other Tuesday because I didn't have the guts to be upset or make them upset. My heart had deflated. They looked tough and if I'd thought I stood a chance I was wrong. Even the boys couldn't act unimpressed or challenged. They seriously looked like a team of assassins, dressed in black and waiting to kill our chances at a life here. I was daunted and discouraged. And I wasn't the only one.

"Damn did you see those Dauntless in training back there," Geoff called out as we left the mess hall. Training would resume but this time we'd be hitting our targets with knifes not bullets.

"You mean those killers in training, they looked like they could hold their own and then some," Halen cut in, he'd been the most upset about our stunning comparison to the godly initiates we'd left at lunch.

"And then some more," Dhani cut in from her spot on Halen's back, "That one with the tattoo by the eye was so hot though,"

"Pfft, Yeah sure in that I'm going to screw you kill you kind of way," Paul scoffed, probably needing to inflate his squeaky clean ego.

"Oh honey as long as he'd screw me I'd be down for anything," Dhani laughed, and then laughed some more when Halen reached up and smacked her playfully.

"You think Initiation is funny," Eric yelled, full of authority which suited him - and me - just fine.

"No," Paul spoke up for the group, stepping in front of us, which caused me to step out from behind him. With Paul no longer obstructing my view of Eric I could see he was facing Paul head on with a deadly calm expression that mimicked the ocean before a tsunami hits.

"No Sir," Eric corrected Paul with a tone that held as much danger and darkness as the darkest night in the deepest chasm, yet it still held me a willing captive to its smooth rasp.

I watched Paul's jaw clench and unclench as he weighed the options: back down and show cowardice, or stand up and earn respect. The Candor in Paul must've picked the smarter choice. He steeled himself towards Eric, corrected himself, and stepped back. As I watched, after all the others had refocused on Eric, I saw a flash of something; something dark flash in Paul's eyes. I tried to recognize the emotion but as soon as it was there it was gone, replaced with his signature white washed smile.

It took just a flash for my reasonless irritation with Paul turn into full fledged fear, but whatever it was that surfaced in that moment had had only a taste of freedom, and hopefully Paul would stop that monster before it was unleashed.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer/ AN: Next chapter here we go! I'm enjoying writing this, hopefully you enjoy reading it. Any suggestions, or comments, or concerns, or anything really just leave a review and let me know how its going. I don't own anything of the Divergent world, I just enjoy working in/with it.

"Knife throwing is an art," Four explained caressing the blade between his fingers before he whirled it at the board and landed a clean sink in the plywood target nearly twenty feet away.

"At Dauntless we expect you to be able to fight any threat by any means so to continue your defense training with knife throwing will teach you a new skill to have with you if a dangerous situation occurs. Stance is everything but you'll need power behind your throw as well. You'll each get ten knives and at the end of each throwing session the chance to retrieve your knives. There is a fine line between bravery and idiocy, do not cross it today,"

We collected our knives and dispersed to a target. I took my usual spot at the end of the room and Nadia was yet again pushed from me as Paul swept in to take the spot to my left. He went right into throwing and I was pleased to see he was not so great at this. Finally something he wasn't good at. I could still feel the ghost of Eric's hands sweeping over me and forming the perfect stance and guiding my hand to pick up a knife. Grasping the handle I felt eyes on me as I brought it beside my ear and hurled it almost javelin style at the target. my ears were greeted with a heartwarming thunk as the blade sunk into the wood just below the stomach.

"Looks like you've found your calling Reyna," Paul laughed giving me a jovial smile, I could see he still hadn't managed to sink a blade. "Remind me to never piss you off," He laughed again noticing where the blade had hit, just below the stomach in a very sensitive area.

"Never piss me off Paul," I said in a threatening tone, only half joking. I turned back to my station to only to meet with the eyes I'd felt on me before. Eric met me with a nod of approval, which could've been due to my throwing or my threatening. I went back to my throwing with a smirk set in place of the nervous smile I'd had before. Paul was right; I'd found my calling.

I showered and dried off while the others were still finishing dinner, opting for privacy rather than a full meal. I was pulling on my training shorts and black singlet top when Dhani, tugging Nadia behind her, burst into the room and demanded all my attention, fully dressed or not. Dhani was beaming and Nadia behind her had mustard in the corner of her mouth and looked out of breath.

"We're going dancing tonight, get dressed!" She told us, not waiting for a response before tugging down her pants and stripping off her top only to replace it moments later with the scandalous dress she bought days ago.

"Um, alright, give me a second I guess," I replied to unlistening ears, taking off the clothes I'd just put on and grabbing my dress from under my bunk. Throwing it on and braiding back my still wet hair. Nadia was struggling to get the zipper up the back of her dainty black dress that had a sweetheart neckline and A-line fluttery skirt. I help her with it and she swept up her strawberry curls into a bun.

"Oh come on guys, just let your hair down you prudes," Dhani whined at us for the fifth time since we'd left for the dance club we'd scoped out a few nights back. "You look like two Stiffs,"

"Hey," Nadia scolded

"Well I guess your not to bad Nads, the updo matches the neckline. But Reyna come on, you need to let loose," Dhani explained, mistaking Nadia's disapproval at the term Stiff as a protest at her insults. Dhani made a lunge for my braid but I swooped out of the way.  
"Don't Dhan,"

"Why not,"

"Because,"

"Because isn't an answer. At least let me try,"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"No, Dhani. Absolutely not, I like my braid and besides my hair is wet anyway,"

"That's no excuse, come on it'll frame your face. It'll make you prettier. Striking,"

"Ugh, fuck it! Fine Dhan have at it," She accepted my defeat eagerly and had already taken out the elastic before I could second guess myself. She was fluffing out my tangly waves and grinned at her work. Over her shoulder Nadia was grinning as well. I guess Dhani did know what she was doing.

"Is it really that much better," I asked as we turned the corner and stepped into the noisy heart of life in Dauntless.

"Yes. Now we're here, let me do the talking and we should be let in no problem,"

We stood back as Dhani flirted our way into the club. She lead us in with one last wink to the doorman, who probably thought Dhani was years older and actually a member of Dauntless. I noticed the sound first and then my other senses reawoke. Taking their first breaths as they entered the unusual world of nightlife. My heart felt the beat as it coursed through my body. The bass was deafening and intoxicating, as was the smell and the lights were blinding to say the least. It was chaotic and loud and I loved every minute.

Nadia had lost Dhani almost right away, possibly in the direction of the bar but it was beyond my thoughts in that moment. We took to the dance floor and started moving like we were the stream of water and the music was the hand moving and creating a flow that was beautiful and all our own. We danced for hours, with each other, with others, with Dhani when we found her again. It was a good night and we were spent by the time we traipsed back to bed.

I fell heavily to my bed and though my ears were still ringing and my heart was still beating my mind was dead and sleep came effortlessly.

A gasp escaped my lips and burst out into the air above me. My face was burning with an icy chill, a wet, icy chill that cut to my core. Gasping again, I brought my hands to my eyes and rubbed the water from them.

"What the fuck was that," I groaned, wiping back the hair that was stuck to my face. Eric, Four, and all the other Initiates were surrounding my bed. The Initiates looked amused,_ fuck them,_ Eric and Four looked amused but unfortunately disciplinary, _fuck them too._

"That, Initiate was what happens when you don't wake up for training," Eric smirked holding the bucket up high clearly pleased with his work. "You would've been out, but Four and I are in a good mood today,"

"Shit! I slept in are you serious," I was now fully conscious. Some people around me let out snickers at my disfortune, but I could see that Nadia and Dhani were both sympathetic. It could've been any one of us in this situation now. But of course, it was me.

"I'm dead serious Initiate," Eric bent down, trying to intimidate me, it probably would've worked if I wasn't focused on how close he was, and how he smelled like spicy oranges. "Now get up,"

"Yes _Sir,"_ I got out of bed, determined to show Eric that his intimidation wouldn't work and he could shove his wakeup call where the sun won't shine. We were really close, I could feel the heat radiating from him, I could sense the smirk on his face. I glared up at him, secretly revelling in how perfect the height difference was. I was hypnotized as his eyes met mine and his smirk grew. I would just have to lean up a bit and we'd be kissing. _Wait!_ What the fuck was I thinking, this is supposed to be an intimidation.

The wolf whistle pulled me out of my worried thoughts. Why was there a wolf whistle, was I that obvious. Was _he_ obvious! No he would never let anyone read him like that. Especially a bunch of Initiates. Besides he would never need to hide his attraction to me because he would never feel attraction to me. I looked up at him again, trying to find a shred of emotion, something unguarded. His steel blue eyes were on me, his smirk was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"This is a whole other side of you Initiate," Eric grinned suggestively. Where was this coming from. My confusion was interrupted by the feeling of his chest against mine. My chest. Which was covered with only a sports bra.

SHIT! _Shit!_ Are you fucking kidding me. This couldn't be worse.

"Damn Rey! Is this what you've been hiding from us," Halen laughed from across the room. He was the whistler I guess. There was nothing to cover up with and I was surrounded by my fellow Initiates. This would just have to be another test in the Dauntless initiation process.

"Well get a good look because you'll never see this again Halen," I snapped at him turning around and grabbing some shorts and a vneck from under my bed and pulling them on.

"Shows over, let's go," I said glaring daggers at no one in particular. Brushing past the group I made my way into the training room.

Eric and Four filed into the centre of the gym style training room that we'd been in before. This time, however, they had set up mats in the centre of the room and scoring system was written on a chalkboard at the side of the room. The Initiates around me had a mixture of reactions. Most like me were apprehensive of what would be coming next. Surely they wouldn't make us fight them, but would we have to fight each other. Some of the boys looked excited or at least pleased that we'd finally be seeing some action.

"Let's hope you're all smart enough to figure out what your next training session will be," Eric deadpanned. He had on a black mens tank top that fitted well across the chest. His shoulders stood out as he brought his forearms behind his back and begun pacing. I watched him, my eyes following him across the room like I was ripping through a good book.

"You'll be facing chosen opponents in combat for the next week," Eric explained he was still pacing but I was now in worried eye contact with Nadia. It was hard to picture her slender frame in a fight against someone like Dhani let alone someone like Paul or Geoff.

"We will try as hard as we can to keep the fights fair," Four cut in only to be quickly cut off by Eric.

"No we won't. Real fights won't be tailored to your strengths. So to prepare you for reality, neither will your fights here," I started sucking on my top lip, something I hadn't done since leaving Candor. Fours face was one of intense frustration; I sensed they had some leadership issues, perhaps Four was growing tired of being second in command, or maybe Eric was getting comfortable with being first. I felt more inclined to the latter.

"Alright," Four rolled his eyes and started reading off the clipboard in hand, "First pairings are as follows; Paul - Halen, Anika - Nadia, Geoff - Jax, Dhani - Allera, Reyna - Forner. That's it for today, Paul, Halen you're up,"

"You will fight each other until one of you cannot fight anymore," Eric called to them, as they took their positions on the mat. My stomach knotted and twisted, this was getting brutal. Paul would annihilate and I couldn't stand to see good-humoured Halen get beat.

"Or until one of you taps out," Four's strained voice felt like a saviour to me. Paul would certainly tap out rather than hurt one of his friends. As the two boys got ready in the ring, Paul bouncing around in his near perfect fighters stance, Halen stretching out his arms like he was about to run a race.

The fight commenced as suddenly as it ended. Paul had swung first landing a blow to Halen's abdomen. As Halen leaned into the blow Paul brought his hands down on Halen's back and he went down sprawling out under Paul who was now calculating his next move. Halen desperately grabbed at Pauls ankles, now realizing that his friend would not be taking it easy on him. He got Paul on his back and straddled him quickly, he landed a hasty punch but was flipped easily, because he'd forgotten to put his full weight on Paul to pin him successfully. With Paul now on top, Halen's chances were knocked out almost as fast as he was. Geoff and Paul picked up the limp Halen and hauled him out of the ring. My blood was boiling, how was brutality considered bravery, how was beating your friend to a pulp ever considered above cowardice.

They carried on as if nothing had happened with Anika and Nadia, I barely watched. My fingers had laced themselves over my eyes and I was peeking out through my index and middle fingers. Anika was a weak transfer from Candor who I never got on with. I was surprised she joined Dauntless and convinced she would be Factionless by the end of this week. Nadia was circling and I locked eyes with her before the fight started. She looked apologetic and I was proud that she knew what she was up against and that she wouldn't hurt an innocent too badly.

Nadia's first swing was a sharp one that landed her opponent on the mats quickly. Anika started kicking out violently but Nadia just grabbed both her legs and started pushing them over her head until the stretch was too painful. Anika was tapping out before Nadia had to think of anything else and I was happy at how uneventful the fight had been.

Geoff and Jax had the fairest fight yet, matched in height, weight, and skills it was like watching Geoff fight himself. It would've gone on longer if Eric hadn't gotten board and demanded a KO, to which Geoff obliged and Jax was finished. They were both bloody but thankfully smiling as they helped each other off the mats.

My fight was getting closer and closer with each fight ending. I was up against a boy and though I didn't remember him having any spectacular skills he did have a full head on me height wise, and was at least double my weight. He didn't look in top form but that didn't really matter unless I could out move and out think him. He was from Amity not Candor so I supposed I wouldn't have to hard of a time out thinking him.

Dhani was holding her own against the solid girl, who looked like she could be Paul's twin. She was strong, but slow which held her at a disadvantage to Dhani's lightning reflexes. In the end, Dhani had finally succeeded at pining female Paul and had her wrist bent back until she tapped. The match was over when she gave up and tapped, if only just to get the severely bleeding Dhani off her. Dhani had smartly used the bloody blow to her jaw to her advantage and spat a huge wad of her rusty red spit into her opponents eyes. I was oddly proud of Dhani and her quick thinking and hoped I could mimic her in her efforts against the giant she'd beaten.

I walked to the ring and met the eyes of my opponent. I was thankful he wasn't a friend of mine, but looking into his worried green eyes I felt a pang of guilt for being thankful. He had muscles, I couldn't deny it, but they were the out in the sun lifting crates of apples (that were probably heavier than I was) kind of muscles, not the intimidating, neck breaking Dauntless muscles. He looked gentle, big and determined, but gentle. He still had the sunny glow from the Amity fields radiating from his bronze skin, and his golden hair was still streaked with longing from the sun. The laugh-lines on his face were only a shadow of what they used to be, but I could see the tips of a tattoo hiding under the collar of his shirt. A desperate attempt to make up for his longing of home. I smiled at him genuinely and he returned it, hesitant.

"Are you going to propose or hit her Amity," Eric yelled from the sidelines rattling us both into action.

I took my fighters stance, running through in my mind a checklist that had Eric written all over it. I held my hands in fists near to my face, to protect the things that were easily breakable. I kept my knees bent, but my feet light. I could see that my opponents eyes were checking for a weakness, I could also see that he favoured his left side and kept his right open for an attack. I switched my weight to my back foot and kicked him hard in the right side. He winced but quickly recovered. He retaliated with a swing to my face, which I ducked out of, but his blow still grazed my ear. I back up and kicked again, this time he caught my foot and pulled me forward. I braced myself against him and ducked out of the grip that was encircling me. He followed my retreat and swung out again, low this time. I took the full force to my ribs and cried out in pain. He backed off then surprised at my outburst and I took my chance sweeping low and taking his legs out from under him. I hastily crawled onto him and sat down heavily. My knees held both his arms down and my fist connected with his jaw twice before he managed to roll me onto the mat and take my position on top. His jaw was bloody and his eyes were desperate. If I didn't get him off me I was done for. He drew his fist back ready to finish me a had to think quickly. I didn't want to hurt him, but I wanted to protect myself from harm. I had tugged my left hand out from under him and I was pushing back on his chest frantically. He was distracted by my pushing and looked down to me with worried eyes. Guilt overtook me as I took advantage of his concern and slapped my hand across his face and back again. He was off guard and I felt him let up enough for me to roll us both over again and for me to retake my position on top. This time I pinned his throat under my forearm and pressed down with all my might.

"Concede," I yelled as I pressed further. His face losing its golden light in exchange for a struggling red.

"No,"

"Yes,"

"NO!"

"Just do it. Please, just concede. Please,"

He was choking now, his eyes were watering and I could no longer tell what colour they were originally. I just wanted this to be over and I could tell that he wouldn't break for me. Not willingly.

"I concede," I sighed, collapsing off my red faced opponent who was gasping for breath beside me. My chest was heaving and I finally felt the pain ebbing through me again.

"What did you say Initiate," Eric stepped on to the mat and stood above me, he looked furious. As if my conceding was the last straw. My heart which had finally resumed a normal pace sped up again, was it fear, adrenaline, or just Eric? This time I suspected a mixture of the three.

"I concede," I sat up on my elbows not wanting to appear weak.

"Why the fuck would you do that," Eric spat. Why was he goading me. I wasn't the only one who conceded.

"I was done, I couldn't take anymore so I conceded," I glared getting up so that I could stand my ground. "Those were the rules weren't they,"

"They were, I guess I just didn't expect you to be so weak," His words hit me like a backhand across my face. It hurt that he thought I was weak, well I expected him to feel that way, but I wasn't expecting to hear it out loud. It also infuriated me further. What I did was _not _weak.

"Do honestly think that bravery is beating someone just to beat them,"

"I think that the fight isn't over until one of the participants can no longer fight,"

"Is that what the Dauntless think or is that what you think," The other Initiates were holding their breath and Four was struck silent. I had forgotten they were there, that we had an audience.

"Initiates! This is a learning opportunity, so listen up. A _real_ Dauntless would never back down or give up. And since Candor doesn't seem to get that I'll just have to teach her myself," Eric turned his attention from the crowd to me. I knew what was coming next but I dreaded to believe he'd do this.

"Fighters stance Initiate," I did as he asked even though my body was begging me not to.

"Eric! Stop," Four was finally out of his daze.

"She needs to learn Four," Eric's eyes never left my face as I winced from the pain in my ribs. My fighters stance, the one that he'd taught me, was frail in comparison to his. I could see every muscle in his arms as he brought them in front of his face. He started circling me, watching me like predator watches prey. Let's pray he goes easy on me.

I struck out first but he blocked it easily and did the same for my next hit. He used his forearm to hit me in the ribs. He fucking knew I'd been hit there before. I hissed in pain and glared at him, he had a smirk on his face that was so aggravating. I brought my leg up in preparation for a kick, which he moved to block leaving his face open to the punch I landed across his jaw. I faintly heard cheering from the sidelines but was swept to the ground before I could celebrate my small victory. He kicked me twice before allowing me to get up again. The cat wanted to toy with his mouse. I attempted at a fighter's stance but it was weak at best. I ducked his next punches and managed to land a sloppy uppercut to his jaw again. I blocked the punch he threw to my head but left myself open to the one he had aimed for my abdomen. He hit me down from my hunched over position in front of him. I was sprawled out with my back to the mats. He had me down again.

"Eric that's enough," Four yelled at him giving me a perfect opportunity while his attentions were elsewhere. I sat up and reached a hand behind each knee, using all my strength I pulled back my hands and his knees gave out from beneath him. I took his surprise and used it against him. Desperately scrambling to straddle him before the tables turned again. I landed three punches to his face before he flipped me off him and pinned me under him. I was finished; we both knew it. There was no coming back from this one. I couldn't tap out either. I would have to take whatever he decided to give me, and take it dauntlessly. He punched me twice; I spat out blood on the last one. My eye was swelling shut on one side and I was too out of it to find out if it was the left or right. I cried out one last time as his final punch connected and sent me into blackness.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer/ AN: Okay, wow, so a few of you were upset about last chapters "beat down" scene. I have a direction for this don't worry. And honestly I wrote it as a Dauntless fighting a Dauntless, not a man fighting a woman. It will be a little rocky to from a relationship but trust me it is coming, and hopefully if I write well enough, Eric will deserve Reyna again. Aside from this, I own nothing recognizable and hope to hear your comments, questions, or concerns in a beautiful review!

Waking up the next morning was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I blinked and felt tears spring to my eyes a the brightness of the room around me. Groaning I brought my arm up to wipe my eyes, My arm felt as though lead had replaced my blood and bones. Breathing was the next issue brought to my attention. It seemed that the bandages around my abdomen were hiding some damage to my ribs. Every shaky breath heaved them up and back down with sharp twists of pain.

"Oh good. You're awake," I knew the voice, but besides pain my mind couldn't discern anything else. I couldn't breathe through my nose, but I did smell and overwhelming rusty blood smell.

"I think you've got a concussion," The words were drowned out as I heaved the contents of my stomach over the side of the bed. My hair falling over my face and into my freshly made mess.

"Yep, definitely a concussion," Who was it. That voice. "Can you open your eyes for me,"

"Ughhmmmph," It was the only response I could muster, but I was trying to regain vision.

"Reyna, you took quite a beating, but I can't help you if I don't know how badly you're hurt," My eyes fluttered and my head ached from the effort, but I kept going. Just a little further and I could get away with a squint, my vision cleared and although I was only looking through my lashes I could make out a sturdy male figure at the end of my bed.

"Water," was the only thing I could croak out. I accepted the water that was hastily handed to me and rinsed my mouth out. With the vomit rinsed from my teeth I spat the water out onto the floor with the rest of my stomach, I couldn't be bothered with manners in my state.

"Goodnight," I put down my water and rested back on the unfamiliar bed. Time to sleep forever.

"How long has she been out," A female voice tugged on my mind with a painful ache. Pulling me into brightness. I wanted to dig my heels in and stay here forever, it was quiet and dark here.

"Two days now," the male voice, "She was given a day to heal, but if she misses anymore training she's done here," Training? What training. I needed to ask them, they seemed to know what was going on. My mind gave the command but my eyes took a while to open. Nadia was talking to a guy, whose back was to me. Dhani was behind Nadia and it was maybe the only time I'd seen her looking worried or phased in any way.

"God Dhan, Who died,"I struggled to sit up, but my spinning head and aching ribs advised against it. My throat was dry and I saw a glass of water on the bedside table.

"Well we all thought you did," Dhani pushed past the guy, Nadia at her heels. "I mean even I would hold my tongue if Eric was the one questioning me,"

"Ugh, don't say his name, it makes my ribs hurt," actually it made my heart hurt, but they didn't have to know that.

"And your blood boil too, I don't think I've ever seen someone so angry," Nadia added. It was nice to hear her voice, it was a lot quieter than Dhani's and I suspected that Nadia knew that.

"Yeah well no one calls me weak and gets away with it," I smiled tightly.

"Actually I think he did get away with it," The guy, Four, said handing me my water glass. "Well besides the slap on the wrist that Max gave him for physically engaging an Initiate,"

Who knew Four would be the one to come to my aid. I liked him a bit better for this, but don't get me wrong the guy is stiff.

"Thanks," I smiled motioning to the water, "How's training," I wanted desperately to get back out there, pain or not I didn't care as long as I could go back to fighting my way into Dauntless; and away from Factionless.

"It's going well, you were given today to heal up, and you weren't scheduled for a fight anyways so you missed nothing but a bunch of insignificant ass kickings," Four laughed. It was a deep, rich laugh but it missed something.

"Who will I fight next," I asked, "Or are you not allowed to say,"

"I will tell you that I'm trying to arrange a switch, because he put you in a tough fight,"

"I appreciate it but won't that be just another excuse for Eric to give me shit,"

"Yeah, but what you did out there is something I would've done. In fact I did do something like that during my Initiation and it was a really brave thing for you to do,"

"What get my ass handed to me,"

"No. You stood up for what you believed in, and I respect you for that," Four stood and left quickly. Damn that guy was emotional.

"Is he always that open," Dhani laughed and I let out a laugh that ached in my chest.

"I hope so. That wasn't awkward at all," Pain pushed aside I laughed openly.

By that evening I was escorted by Geoff and Halen out to dinner to eat with the others. The lady in what I now know was the medical centre gave me a dosage of pain meds for my rib, which miraculously was only bruised. I took a shower before leaving for dinner to wash out my hair, and the blood that had dried in my nose. Looking at the reflection before me I saw that my right eye was black, and my lower lip was thicker than usual, my nose had been broken and reset so I had one of those ugly tapes across the bridge of it; if I crossed my eyes I could see the bandage. My whole left side was black and blue, and that almost pretty purpley green colour that bruises can take. All in all I was a hot mess. But a hot mess who was strong enough to go to dinner.

Halen, Geoff, Nadia, Dhani, Paul, and even Forner had all come to check me out of the Medical Centre for dinner. Geoff and Nadia insisted they help me get to the mess hall, Halen being Halen, was unbudging on the matter of escorting me, and Dhani conceded to go on ahead with Paul and Forner and save a spot for me at the table. I was hobbling along at my own pace, leaning heavily on the boys around me, Nadia had her hand on mine where it rested on Geoff's hip. I felt a sudden surge of admiration for my friends, they were with me even when I was a weak, slow, fraction of my full self. I could literally lean on them in my times of weakness. Thankfully our table was one of the closest to the door so I didn't have to hobble in front of an audience for too long. I slide, uncomfortably, into my seat between Nadia and Dhani. People at the tables around us were giving me odd looks, I didn't care about their eyes. I cared about the steel-blue eyes that had captivated mine since I'd entered the room. I saw them fleetingly as I'd entered the hall, but I refused to seek them out again. He didn't get the satisfaction. Fuck Him.

I ate my meal and then finished the rest of Nadia's. It was like a switch was flipped and I was finally hungry again. The boys all looked at me in amazement while Dhani just looked disgusted.

"Where do you put it all Reyna. I mean Damn you could give Paul a run for his money," Halen laughed, tossing another chip into his wide mouth. I just rolled my eyes and took another bite of my burger, nothing was distracting me from my meal tonight.

"Shut up man, I need to maintain my feminine figure somehow," Paul winked at me.

That was the single most creepy gesture I'd ever experienced. Dhani squeezed my thigh under the table, obviously us girls would have to have girl-talk evening soon. I couldn't wait; is my sarcasm showing again, sorry.

"Hey Reyna! Nice to see you out and about again. I hope to see you back in action tomorrow though, you've got a fight scheduled so make sure you talk to one of the medics about some pain pills or something," Four kept walking out of the hall, not stopping in his path as he walked towards the door, obviously in a hurry to get somewhere. After dinner I headed Four's advice and got some heavy painkillers for my fight tomorrow. The medic I talked to was shaking her head at me, but seemed to understand my need to keep going. I couldn't just give up.

That night I fell asleep wondering if Four had followed through with his offer to arrange and easier opponent. Even though I'd told him I didn't want that there was still a tiny part of me that wanted nothing more than an easy winnable fight. And honestly, there was a tiny part of me that knew i needed it. I was scraping by in my training, my gun work was aimeable, and my knife throwing was badass (I am still pleasantly surprised by that), I would have to really work for this next task. I wasn't strong or even that skilled, my fight with Eric had proved that, and I would pale in comparison to the Dauntless born members. I closed my eyes and tried to wipe my mind blank, to fade off into the accepting darkness.

I woke up earlier than everyone else and opted for a shower before training, to relax my muscles. I grabbed my clothing for the day and headed to the bathroom. The dauntless bathrooms were not the nicest of places. They had a very open concept design and did not discriminate based on gender. Therefor I had to take the coveted corner stall that had partitions on either side that could hide most of your body if you positioned yourself well, the corner stall also had the perk of being hidden from the wall of urinals that were located along the right side of the room. I turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat up, taking the time to strip and adjust the angle on the overused shower head to suit my needs. The steam filled the stalls and surrounded me in a dense warm fog. The water raining down on me was a degree below boiling and it seemed to evaporate the tension and ache in my body. I loved the feeling of relaxing after being tight for so long, and this shower was near to perfection. So imagine my disappointment when the stall next to me was suddenly very occupied.

Paul had managed to fill the stall next to mine and strip down to nothing in the time it took for me to rinse the shampoo from my hair. I didn't hear him come in and so when he had turned on the tap and finally acknowledged my presence I was as creeped out as I was pissed off.

"Can I borrow the shampoo," Paul said over the downfall of water, "My stall doesn't seem to have any," _Then why the fuck did you pick that stall? _

"Yeah sure," I said my frustrated tone clearly missed by Paul. He didn't even wait for me to hand him the bottle he just reached his hand over the too low partition and grabbed it himself.

"Paul a bit of privacy would be nice," I looked at him, he was far too open about his body, and mine. I mean he could at least have the decency to pretend not to look.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I'll just turn around,"

"Yeah," I finished up quickly after that and made sure I was fully dressed before leaving my stall. Paul was still showering as I left and I couldn't help but notice all of the empty shower stalls that lined the walls.

I grabbed breakfast and made my way to the training room. Dhani and Halen were sparring with each other but it quickly took a turn for the seductive when Halen had Dhani pinned and it escalated from there. I turned away to give them some privacy, not wanting to be the awkward onlooker. Paul sidled up to me, a little too close.

"Looks like they're having fun," He laughed.

"Um, not really," I laughed back awkwardly.

The rest of the Initiates, Four, and Eric all made their way into the room. I still refused to make eye contact. Instead I faded into the back of the crowd next to Forner and Nadia; Paul followed.

"Would the two Initiates getting it on assume their fighter stances," Eric rolled his eyes, "Now,"

Dhani and Halen, not even blushing, detangled themselves and hesitantly assumed stance.

"Today Initiates," Eric yelled. He was definitely pissed about something, and it wasn't the fact that he'd just caught Dhan and Halen swapping spit instead of taking training seriously. Whatever, I did not care about Eric and his stupid moods. Actually I did; they dictated how miserable training would make us.

While Halen and Dhani were fighting, neither of which had their hearts in it, I noticed that Four had begun writing the other pairings on the blackboard. My stomach was in knots by the time I saw him write my name, though his hand was covering the name of the person I'd be facing I already knew it wouldn't be Halen, Dhani, Forner, Paul, or Nadia. I would however be facing Geoff. I looked to him and found him already looking at me, his eyes were open and I could read him like a book. He would let me win this round. Eric was pacing on the other side of the room, goading Halen and Dhani to finally finish each other off. Let's hope Geoff is a good actor.

Our fight went seamlessly. Geoff was slow on his feet and made sure I looked nimble enough to escape his hits, which were swung high and easy to out maneuver. He landed three punches on me, all in fairly untouched areas. I kicked him three times before I finally managed to hit near to his temple, knocking him down and out of the match. I offered a hand to Geoff and he took it, I hauled him up as best I could and we stumbled out of the ring together. I'm not sure how convincing our performance was, but I hoped it was enough to keep Geoff out of trouble.

Training went fairly smoothly from there and I felt healed enough to keep pace in the run we went for after lunch. I wasn't fastest by any means but I kept a steady pace in the middle of the pack. I was loving the feeling of finally being back in training, as crazy as that sounds, and I didn't even notice how time was flying until Four called it a day.

"You looked great out there," Paul said jogging up beside me an swinging his arm around my shoulders. Was this guy for real, ugh. I had the energy to run but was thoroughly done with dealing with this guy for today.

"Um, yeah you too Paul. Listen I have to go shower, please don't join me this time," I gave him a tight lipped smile and jogged off. I felt his eyes watch me go, but I managed to miss the other set of eyes that followed my exit.

I showered, without Paul, and got changed into my most comfortable clothes. I was starving by the time I'd combed out my hair and threw it into a loose bun. I found no one waiting for me, which was surprisingly nice to see, and decided to go to dinner and see I could meet them there. I wandered to the mess hall, deciding to take the longer route that would cut through the pit. Walking past I noticed the tinted window and neon lights of a tattoo parlour. I'd always wondered back when I was a Candor if there was an age restriction on the Dauntless tattoos, but since Initiation I'd seen three little kids running around with proud, bold markings and my question had answered itself. I wanted a tattoo. I'd always wanted one, even going so far as to plan out what it would be. When I'd first started Dauntless initiation I'd told myself there would be no tattoos until you'd actually made it; a weird sort of reward. But now I didn't give a damn what happened, well I did, but i would get that tattoo no matter what. If I was going to be truly Dauntless the fear of not making it was going to have to stop, I needed to commit myself to this faction 115%. I'd already chosen, and fought for this, there was no going back.

I decided to take my tattoo plans with me to dinner. Impulsive is not a characteristic I possess. Besides I still didn't know where to put it. In the hall it took me only seconds to find my friends, yes they were friends now. Unfortunately the only seat open was next to Paul. I noticed Dhani and Halen were smug as can be as I sat down. I highly suspected they played a major part in tonight's seating arrangement.

"I'm going to get a tattoo," I announced my arrival, sliding in beside Paul and taking a huge bite of my heavenly chocolate cake. I looked around to all my friends to gauge their reactions.

"Hello to you too," Nadia laughed noting my grand entrance.

"Thats a great idea," Dhani squeeled, "I'm going with you,"

"You'll have to make it a good one. They're permanent you know," Geoff laughed his mouth full and hair wild. I looked around to Paul who had regrettably slid closer. Ugh, I shuddered. Paul brought his arm around me and rubbed my arm, mistaking my shudder for coldness.

"What are you getting then, _Eric Forever!_" Halen joked making a little heart in mid air.

"Oh yeah thats exactly what I want. A reminder of my ass getting beat to look at everyday," I deadpanned rolling my eyes as Nadia reached around and smacked Halen.

We were inside the shop and I was still deciding on my tattoo, the one I had in my mind was too personal to get while all of my friends were here. Plus I still wanted a reward for when I finished Dauntless training and so I'd get it then, by myself. Tonight however I needed to get something awesome, like Geoff said it's permanent. I decided to get trees along my wrist that started from a black cuff-like band and circled up my forearm into black evergreen trees. It had no meaning but I liked the look of it and had always admired the trees that could be seen from beyond the fence.

Dhani had already gotten her tattoo, which only she and the male artist would see that night. I gave my idea to a sharp, older Dauntless woman and she got to work almost immediately. I loved that about this Faction, they cut the shit and just got things done.

It didn't hurt like I thought it would and after she gave me clear directions on how to care for it. All of us seemed pretty happy with our choices. Dhani now sporting the mystery tat, Nadia who had caved and gotten a nose ring and eyebrow piercing, Forner who decided on a bold line design to run along his bicep, and me content with my trees. We went to bed carefree that night, or at least cares were forgotten.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer/ AN: Hmm Tattoos and creepy Paul. Let me know what you think by leaving a review. They are greatly appreciated. I love criticism, as odd as that may be. Anyways back to the story, most of this will probably be filler, but I can't just skip to the good bits. I wish I could!

I woke up the next morning stiff and sore but relatively pain free. I opted to shower later after training was over. I was pulling on my shorts when Nadia offered to join me in breakfast. I had my last fight today and needed the protein so I decided to join her for a light meal. I gathered my hair off my face into a high ponytail and skipped after her. We walked in relative silence until we got to the hall and found a table in the middle of all the noise.

"So what's up with Paul," Nadia cut right to the chase, reminding me eerily of the Candor I'd left behind.

"Ugh, so you've noticed it too," I rolled my eyes and took a bite of the eggs on my plate.

"Of course I have, I'm not stupid and I'm not blind," Nadia practically scolded.

"So is there anything there,"

"No! Ew no! There is definitely nothing there. _Nothing_,"

"Oh come on, Paul is sweet,"

"Paul is as nasty as Eric. He's just better at hiding it,"

"I don't know. He's sweet on you at least," Nadia smirked, "besides no one is as cold as Eric,"

Paul is, I thought darkly.

Speak of the devil. The blonde, sparkling, wholesome devil. Paul slid into the seat next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I swear it was as if he'd imagined up a little relationship and expected me to play along. It was infuriating but I just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. After training was over I'd tell Paul to fuck off but for now it could be nice having someone to watch my back and take a fall for me without expecting something in return. Well he might expect _something, _but I could cross that bridge when I came to it.

So with Paul's arm rested uncomfortably on my shoulders I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my breakfast to the inquisitive stare of Nadia and eventually Dhani and Forner. When I'd finally finished up the others and I walked to the training room making it with seconds to spare. The names were already posted on the chalkboard and I was set to face a girl I'd never met before. She must've been Amity or perhaps Erudite because her face, though I'd seen it in training, was not familiar and I had never spoken with her. She had a slim figure and not much visible muscle. I noticed her eyes were vacant yet calculating, and with her sharp features it looked almost menacing.

I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter awake as I pulled my hair into a high ponytail. Hopefully I would have the moves to win this, I definitely had the muscle mass on her, but she could be fast or agile. I cursed myself for not taking better notice of her. I should've known she'd be competition but I just disregarded her. That was a mistake.

Eric stalked to the front of the room and I watched him. I still refused to look at him, or get caught looking at him at least. He made me sick to my stomach and I had no idea why. Well I suppose it had to do with the fading bruises around my ribs and eye. I subconsciously kneaded my tense shoulders. I would have to win today to secure my above average placing. I needed to make the cut at the end of this training round. My match was second so I got to watch Dhani and Nadia knock some sense into each other and then Forner get knocked around by Paul. Paul finished the round and helped Forner to his feet which I suppose was nice enough, but when I took the ring after them and felt Forner's blood beneath my feet I was absolutely disgusted with Paul, for causing the harm, Eric for demanding it be done, Dauntless for tolerating this training, and me for choosing dauntless and forgiving the blood in favour of fighting with a clear mind.

Eric called for the fight to start and my opponent, her name was Allera, wasted no time in snapping the palm of her hand into my nose. My head whipped back with force and my nose was definitely broken. The blood started gushing while my brain was still receiving the pain.

I opened my mouth to curse, "Shit," and my blood poured into my mouth. Why did noses bleed so much. I gobbed my blood and spat it into the bitches face. This was going to be brutal, I could tell. There would be no conceding and Eric would finally get to see the bloody, dauntless battle he'd been craving. While her vision was still impaired I punched her square in the jaw. My knuckles split but my effort was not done in vain. She screamed. Not a yell or a cry but a full on scream. I guess the was a bit more force behind the blow than intended. I paused, my first mistake, and checked to see if she was okay. She was, and she met my concern with a knee to my recovering ribs. I hunched over and she pushed me down from there. I was seething and in pain. She got two kicks before I grabbed her foot and yanked her down to my level, but not before getting some satisfaction by pushing her toes back with as much force as I could muster.

She was next to me and I quickly got to my feet. I regained my stance and gave her three hard kicks. She clawed at my thigh until she finally got some flesh. The pain went unnoticed with the amount of adrenaline in my veins. She swept my feet from under me while I was busy with my torn thigh. I rolled to the side to avoid her topping me, but I felt her grab my ponytail and rip me back to where she was. My head was in excruciating pain, and I felt blackness sweeping in. I rolled my head to the side and saw my friends watching the massacre from the sidelines. They held concern, fear, and disbelief on their faces and I didn't want to see them look at me like that.

I rolled my head away, fading in and out of the blackness. I saw the trainers, Four looked upset. Like a parent who'd been disappointed by their child, but Eric looked genuinely furious, like full on mama-bear anger. His gaze was burning holes through the air and onto Allera's head. I looked up at my opponent and saw she was getting ready to slam her fis into my face and send me into the darkness of unconsciousness for good.

My head fell back to the side and I felt her fist come down where I'd just been. Erics icy blue eyes met mine and I felt something melt. His guard was down and i could see him pleading me to end this. He couldn't watch. I didn't understand; he'd wanted this. This fight was everything a "Dauntless" was in his eyes. Yet now I was just as disappointing to him because I wouldn't concede. _What did he want from me?_ Whatever it was I needed to give it to him. My eyes shut tight and I bit down on the wrist that was next to me. I heard another sickening scream and kicked her dead weight off me. I sat harshly down on her chest and knocked her out with a solid punch that was placed just beside the temple. I crashed down beside her and heaved out, gasping for air I didn't know I'd needed.

"Get her up," I hear eric yell, whether it was me or the deadweight bitch beside me, I didn't know. I felt someone haul Allera up and drag her off the mat, oh it was her then. I winced feeling all my injuries spark with pain now that the adrenaline was draining out off my system. I felt where my thigh was torn and bloodied, my nose was thick with dried blood and most likely broken, I had whiplash from where my neck had snapped back not once but twice, my ribs were hurt but I think they managed to escape serious injury this time, but my hair stung where it still clung to my head, and where it didn't felt on fire with pain. I probably looked like an abused animal, for the second time since Initiation. I'd been beaten bloody but at least I'd won.

Eric got down to my level. I wished I could smell his citrus spice, but I could only smell that rusty, metallic bloody smell. He looked so good, but I'd felt this bad before and couldn't afford to forget that he was the one that'd made me that way. Although, right now I really wanted to forget that he'd ever hurt me and sink into his arms. I'll blame that on the near blackouts.

"Why didn't you concede," He asked, sounding almost pained to hear my response.

"Dauntless don't give up," I croaked, managing a smirk in my battered state.

"There's a fine line between idiocy and bravery Candor,"

"I'm not a Candor. I haven't been for a while," I saw the blackness creep back into my vision and take over but the last thing I heard before I fully checked out was Eric.

"I've noticed,"

I woke the next morning like I had the last time, bruised, achy, and just tired. This time however I knew that I'd be better with time and hardcore painkillers. I was in the medical centre again and this time no one was with me as I woke up. Well, no one other than the nurses, they were miracles. When I was little I thought miracles were big, extravagant, commanding events that changed lives in spectacular ways, but now I know that miracles are performed by hard working, warm-hearted people who do the littlest thing that makes the biggest difference because they do it when it's really, truly, needed. I was in debt to these men and women, and I could probably say that every other Dauntless Member is in debt to them for fixing something that they'd broken.

I had a meal and then knocked myself out with a potion of sleepers aid and pain medication. The sleep was needed and when I woke at five the next day I felt nearly alright. My leg was bandaged but no longer raw, my nose had been set and the blood had been cleaned away. My neck was fine, just sore, and my scalp was "Healing nicely." I was free to go by six and headed straight for the showers.

The hot water felt amazing on my stiff body and I was finally relaxed. The steam seemed to envelop my lungs and I felt fully awake since I'd woken up nearly 48 hours previous. I relished in the feeling for five more minutes, but time caught up with me, and so did Nadia.

"It's time to go," She came in yelling at me in the shower. It was nice to see her too.

"Go where, I'm not up for dancing Nad," I answered her not one bit hurried.

"We're all going to play capture the flag," She urged, "The train leaves in ten minutes,"

"Oh shit," The shower was off and I was headed for my towel before Nadia could reply.

"Could you bring me some scissors or a knife," I asked motioning to my wrapped thigh.

I grabbed the knife, carefully as to not injure myself further, and slit the bandage off my thigh. It was red and puffy but you could tell it was healing where the stitches were in place. The nurses garunteed that my stitches wouldn't rip, but they also said I would be left with distinct scars. I honestly could say that I couldn't care less about scarring, in fact I loved the way scars told stories, they were experiences that left a mark on your body so that your mind could never forget them. Dauntless training was a memory I would never forget; even if I'd wanted to. I quickly wrapped my thigh again, Nadia had given me privacy to do so, her Amity was showing because a Dauntless or Candor would never think to make a moment like this private. I caught my eye in the mirror. I couldn't help but notice every time I saw my reflection now the slight skew to my nose where the bridge connected. It wasn't stare-you-down obvious but it felt that way to me, especially since my face (and body) had slimmed during Initiation. I ran my hands through my hair, it was tangled and stung from where my scalp still needed to heal. My hands fell to my sides and my hair fell to my lower back. The motion was fluid, I brought the knife up to my collar bone and ran the sharp blade through my hair. It felt lighter instantly and I loved the way I could feel a breeze on my neck. It felt right, like this was just another round of training and I'd aced it.

"What the fuck are you doing!," Nadia called into the bathroom, hastiness dripping off her tone.

"We have to go now, or we'll miss the train," I pulled on my pants and a hooded jacket and ran out of the bathroom grabbing Nadia and pulling her with me down the hall. We sprinted the whole way there, and thank the sweet Amity goodness that we did because we got to the train with only seconds to spare. I flung my arm around and let go of Nadia who used the momentum of the swing to jump to the train and grab the handle. I sprinted full out to get ahead of the compartment entrance and then flung myself sideways and felt someone catch me from inside. It worked, We'd made it.

I caught my breath, which was easier said than done. The arms around me, my ticket onto the train, were thick and distinctly masculine. I felt my heart speed up as my nose was filled with the familiar spicy citrus that connected my mind to Eric. It instantly made the connection now; Oranges-Eric, Eric-Oranges. I looked up, like a child who was told "no peeking," to see if the arms wrapped around me were his, but I felt my heart fall, actually I think everyone in the traincar felt my heart fall as I found myself in the arms of Paul. Actually I doubt Paul felt my heart, which was still sinking, fall because he was beaming down at me. I backed up, but his arms held tight and I found myself not only in Pauls arms, but _stuck_ in Pauls arms.

"Nice jump princess," Paul smirked "But, you cut it kinda close. Be careful next time," He looked into my eyes, with concern. Concern I could do without, especially the fake sort that Paul was sporting.

"In what world am I a princess," I scoffed, making another attempt to wiggle free, my hands bracing myself from his hard chest. This was so not ideal, especially when it was paired with the questioning glances from the rest of the group. No, make that the rest of the compartment. All eyes were on us, due to my spectacular leap, and our sudden closeness. I shuddered.

"You are in my world," Ugh. So fake. "You cold," He asked, his tone dripping with fake concern again. Oh fuck it, if he didn't get the hint now he never would.

"No. I'm okay," I grimaced, though Paul must've mistaken it for a grin because I soon felt his hot lips brush my across my forehead. He took it one step further, which was two steps too far, and ran his hand up my back and through my hair.

"You cut your hair," He noticed, his voice thick with something I didn't want to hear there.

"Yes, you're very observant Loverboy. Now cut the cuddling short, we have shit to do," My heart sped up and it was definitely not because of Paul. Paul dropped his arms and I turned to see Eric.

His velvet voice contrasted darkly with his murderous expression. I'd been hospitalized due to a lesson from this man, but I'd never faced that glare before. Or ever, because the glare was directed behind me; just over my shoulder. At Paul. Whose arm had encircled me again in a one armed hug. I stepped to the side and wedged myself between Nadia and Halen. Needing my space from the tentacles of love. Paul was going to get it if he didn't back off, but I really didn't want to know what this guy was capable of. At least until after training.

"Welcome to Dauntless tradition number two," Eric called, commanding the crowd effortlessly.

"Paintball is a Dauntless tradition," Paul scoffed. Some Dauntless born who were on the train with us let out a few groans.

"Yes it is. Four and I will be captains and choose our teams. Each team hides a flag and the first team to capture the other flag wins. Any questions," Eric looked around the train, his eyes landing on Paul, whose hand was raised high.

"No, alright then I'll go first," Eric scanned the crowd and selected a tough looking Dauntless born. Four followed by picking a agile Dauntless girl, she went to the front of the compartment brushing past me rather harshly. I thought the Erudite were supposed to be the assholes. Three turns later Eric chose the first transfer, Geoff. Then Four chose Forner. I wanted to be on Four's team; he was choosing a team, Eric was choosing individuals.

"Candor," I raised my head. There were other Candor transfers, but I was "Candor," to him.

"My team. Let's go," He motioned for me to join the towering group of Dauntless Initiates and Geoff. They didn't look impressed and I guess I mirrored them because Eric got irritated.

"Got a problem Candor," He raised his voice, and his eyebrows. Was that a new piercing?

"No," I muttered, making my way to Geoff, who was the only friendly face.

The rest of the choosing went fairly well, we got Halen and, unfortunately, Paul. Where Four got Dhani and Nadia. The guns were distributed and ammo as well. Soon it was time to hop off the train and get started.

AN: Sorry this took so long. Jesus, just when I get into a rhythm. Anyway I wanted to thank you all so much for reading so far, and your reviews, the mean a lot. Keep up the good work I know the waiting can be really annoying. Have a good day/night/week/year. I'll post when I can.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer/ AN: Yay! More story, let's get into it. I don't own the recognizable stuff. I wish I did though. *Sighs* Oh well. Spoiler! You will be reading the capture the flag scene in this instalment. I wasn't sure whether it was simulation rounds or paintballs in either story so I just used paintballs. As always I encourage reviews; I want to know what you're thinking and if I need to change anything (or reel anything in). Enjoy and let me know.

My feet hit ground before I'd even realized I'd jumped. I unfurled from my impact and sucked in a breath of fresh air that burned my lungs in the sweetest way. I was not left to bask in the air though, as much as I would've wanted to. I was handed a gun roughly and followed the pack of runners who were heading to hide the flag within our boundaries. I found myself running with a girl from Dauntless who at first glance looked like a boy from Dauntless, but upon further inspection she held a very feminine look to her that shouted things like "warrior" and "look at me." I felt distinctly out of place, and rightfully so, as to her left and to my right were more hulking Dauntless. I was so out of place that when I saw Paul run up from behind me, I was almost relieved; _almost._

We stopped running when Eric wanted, and I supposed he wanted to, because we'd just pulled to a stop in the middle of a bare field. Unprotected. This was going to be a disaster, we were not a team, we were not protected, and we were not going to win. I looked to Eric who seemed to be content with his -stupid- decision and was scanning the group. He seemed to be searching their faces, looking for a disapproval. Was he honestly going to pick a fight here and now. I felt his eyes on me and I looked to him, questioning. He smirked at me like I was falling right into his plan. His smirk felt like a challenge, one I was more than willing to accept. I scanned the crowd, just as Eric had and found that they were not Dauntless like I'd originally thought. I saw a bunch of hammers, to which the world looked like nails. They all only had one goal, even if there was character within them, like Halen, there wasn't enough. Looking around to the rest of my group I noticed now what his game plan was. Four had chosen a team, Eric had chosen an army. And an army can only have one leader.

Eric had chosen this team, now I needed to lead it.

"We aren't stopping here," I yelled to them, they all looked at me with different levels of questioning and disrespect. Some of them even looked to Eric, silently asking him if this was going to stand. I was also asking that question.

"You heard her," Eric said looking to me, "Move out," They all began running again and this time I stopped them. We were on a disregarded street corner, in a run down part of town that no one ever set foot in. Not even the factionless. Trust this dilapidated wasteland to be the Dauntless playground. I took a stand on a bench and looked out to the group all of them were milling around, in their own thoughts. If I were going to lead them without problems I'd need to act quickly.

"The flag should be hidden here by this building," I called, projecting my voice to the back of the crowd, where Eric stood. His arms were crossed and there was a wicked 'Under-the-surface-smile,' tugging at the corners of his full mouth. _Back on track please mind. _

"Not in the building. That's too obvious, too easy. It's got to be hanging somewhere that even a Dauntless wouldn't dare to go," I looked out to see nothing but agreement, and a few wicked smiles, however, I focused solely on the one coming from Eric. "It'll drive them crazy," I met those racy steel-blue eyes, "Like a prize that's just out of reach, a craving. And while they're stuck here salivating at the unattainable, _we_ will be claiming our victory," I grabbed the flag from Paul who was seemingly entranced. "Now who has a knife," Eric did apparently, it was whipping through the air and past my head before I even had the chance to flinch. It struck the wood in the bench and waited there for me to grab it. I did and poked it through the corner of the flag. Scanning my surroundings I was looking for the best target. I found one about ten feet away. It was a telephone pole, or at least thats what it looked like, we didn't use those anymore, so really it was just a derelict pole with no purpose to serve. It was going to serve me quite well, however, because the break in it's structure and the dangerous lean to it would make climbing it a decision that Four would never condone. I took aim and let the knife and flag fly through the air it whipped through the wind and stuck deep into the top of the pole. Perfect.

"Alright, now that that's settled. We'll have two main groups one will go to the top of this building and defend. The other will form two parties that will attack both sides. I will lead a party of two through the back and we will get the flag. Any questions," I scanned the crowd and saw Paul with his hand raised high, "No, alright, Eric form teams," I sat back as Eric assigned people to the three teams I'd created. I trusted his judgement of character, not him. I was shocked to find that he'd added himself into my team. I'd assumed that he'd stay back and give orders to the defenders, but I suppose he wasn't the "Stay back," type. The defense gave us the location of the other team and their flag, an old pier, it seemed to be hidden under the dock. I grabbed my gun and headed out. Eric, who was following behind, made up for the distance in three confident strides. It felt right to be walking next to him like this, but I couldn't shake the memory of my cracked ribs and broken nose. We picked up the pace in silence and soon I found myself jogging up to Eric's still silhouette, black against the lights of the far off city.

"Did you have a nice run, Initiate," Eric smirked, reminding me of my first day of training.

"It was pretty nice. Great scenery," I smirked, confidence laced dangerously through my tone.

"I told you I'd give you something to look at," Eric looked to me, confirming that he remembered my first day as well. I found his blue eyes and smiled. He just looked at me.

"Was that flirting ," I challenged, "Because you flirting would seriously scare me,"

"You wish," Eric replied an eyebrow raised, "And Reyna," He added, "I could never scare you,"

He grabbed his gun and left me still processing what he'd said. He was right, even after everything that happened, after everything I'd seen him do, I was still felt unafraid, safe even, around him. I was shocked at how well he knew me, and unnerved at how open I'd let myself become. What was happening.

We reached the pier and could see where our team had their team occupied. It seemed almost too easy as we snuck around the battlefield and started making our way to the shore. As we searched for the flag, Eric let out a breathy, whispered laugh.

"Four is so damn predictable. He chooses the pier every time," Eric walked towards the pier a smug smile on his face, like his favourite thing to do was show Four up. I looked at his retreating form and caught a glint of something in the distance. A flashlight. I ran to catch up with Eric who was quickly advancing on the target. I stopped him with a hand on his chest. My palm was flat against his hard muscle, but that wasn't important.

"Four wants you to think he's predictable," I explained my chest heaving, partly because I'd just run for my life, and partly because I was chest to chest with the only man to make my heart jump. "It's a trap and you're falling right into it,"

Eric just stared down at me, at my hand on his chest. His trademark smirk pulling the piercings in his lip towards the stars.

"Give me some credit Candor. I transferred from Erudite because I was wild, not because I was stupid,"

"Then why were you going full steam ahead into a trap," I snapped, not liking the patronizing tone. I took my hand off his chest and rested them on my hips, the height difference suddenly noticeable, and irritating.

"I wanted to see if you'd catch on," He replied. I couldn't believe it.

"You were willing to lose just to see if I could clue in,"

"You wouldn't've let me get that far,"

"I wouldn't have," I agreed, trailing off at the way his eyes went to my hands.

"I needed to stop you," I explained glancing down at my hands, and the tattoo on my arm. It had healed nicely. The bold black cuff dissolving into trees seemed a part of me now.

"I like it," He whispered, "It suits you," he took my arm in his hand, each finger burning so much more than the needles had.

"What does," I asked noticing he wasn't looking at my tattoo as I'd thought.

"Dauntless," He said, brushing his thumb down my wrist slowly then letting me go all at once.

It was my turn to turn away, and I did, his eyes were still on my back. I tried my best to clear my mind. I wouldn't look at him until I had myself in check. I looked to the crowd we'd left behind. Our window was closing, we'd have to act quickly. I motioned for him to take the other side of the dock before sprinting down the most direct route. I saw Eric disappear into the night before training my gun on the target. I breathed in and exhaled slowly, counting to ten before looking around the corner. Four was there and so was the flag. He was looking in the opposite direction.

"Four," I needed his attention because Eric was about to run straight into his line of sight.

"Don't shoot! I got lost and saw your flashlight," I rambled off the first lie that came to mind. This was another reason why I left Candor. I could lie through my teeth.

"Alright," Four said effortlessly switching into the leader role, I felt bad. But not guilty. "Don't panic. You can stay with me until the game is over,"

I nodded, not to Four, but to Eric behind his shoulder.

The shot hit right between Four's Shoulder blades. I saw his eyes widen before he cursed in pain. I winced, not expecting such a harsh impact.

"Game's Over," Eric smirked, taking the flag and throwing it at me.

I caught it, breaking eye contact with Four who was glaring up at Eric.

"Go announce your victory, You earned it," Eric told me to go before turning back to Four.

I stayed behind after I was told to go, only because my attention was piqued and my Candor curiosity would never truly leave me. I couldn't see what was going on but I could hear the deep mutters coming from the two.

"What did Max want," Eric was talking, sounding oddly stiff.

"He offered me a promotion," Four said shortly, "I didn't take it," The tone of voice suggested that the conversation was over so I sprinted back to the base.

I ran up with the flag in hand to see a group from the other team surrounding the base of the pole. From what I gathered few had tried climbing the pole, none had been successful. I grinned at my handiwork and then raised the flag high in the air. My team cheered for me. I was lifted, as I'd been on our first night, and passed along the sea of hands, each one lifting me higher. My mind was racing, I seemed to be floating through the night sky. I could even see stars, which was something I'd never seen before. The city was always too hazy, or I was always shut inside. My journey was cut short when I felt the last set of hands bring me down. I was still buzzing from my victory, but that buzz wasn't enough to block out the lips that landed frantically on mine.

There were heavy hands on my hips, a feverish mouth on mine, and a rough tongue exploring uncharted territory. My first kiss, and I was desperate to escape. My hands flew to the invaders chest and pushed mightely against it. I broke free with a gulp of air and was face to face with satisfied Paul, his eyes were closed and his lips were still working, as if he was unaware that mine were no longer present. Twisting out of the grip Paul had me in to face the crowd of Initiates who were still cheering. I was out of breath when his eyes met mine. Steel-blue burning with something unrecognizable to me, I felt hot tears brimming in my eyes and threatening to fall.

I let them accumulate until the world around me was blurred away, all I could see were the lights. I felt arms around me from behind, and it felt like a brick was crushing my chest. I elbowed back violently and ran. Away from the cheers, from the eyes. I ran until I found train tracks and ran along until I felt the rumble of a train behind me. The cold air stung my eyes and my cheeks but I lept anyways. Finding a solid steel floor waiting to slam into me as I fell.

I went right to bed when I reached the compound. Well I didn't go to bed, I just lay there with my eyes closed, pretending. I heard the others come in, they were noisy until they saw my still form curled up on the mattress. I felt eyes on me, questioning and judging. Just for a moment it felt like I was back in Candor; everyone simply needing to know everything. The lights went out a couple hours later, in the darkness I could finally open my eyes. It took a while for my eyes to adjust, but once they did I could make out the figure of Nadia. She was facing me and I could see her concerned expression. I turned over, but I still couldn't shake the unwanted feelings. I pushed aside the quilt and pulled on a shirt. My short hair was up off my face messily. Time to walk it off.

I padded down the halls, getting lost in the unfamiliar Dauntless labyrinth. The cold floor caressing my bare feet, and the damp air slipping past my bare legs. It was therapeutic. I wandered following nothing, until the sound of fast rushing water caught my ears. I followed the white noise to a rusted red bridge, it closed the gap between two pathways that were separated by a deep trench; ove that probably connected to the Chasm. It would be a long fall and I'd die, painfully, upon impact, but I wasn't phased. I sat down and wiggled my way to the edge, once I'd got there I let each leg fall out from under me, dangling above the darkness. I held on to the railing that stretched across my chest, like the arm of an overprotective mother.

I stayed there for a while, fading in and out of thought until my eyes felt to heavy to keep open. I faded into a light sleep, dreaming of my life once I'd passed initiation. The insides of my eyelids were painted with the pictures of today; of stars, and paint, and steel-blue, and Paul. Unfortunately Paul. I couldn't get him off me, the ghost of his hands still brushed against my skin and his lips could still be felt on mine. My eyes hurt from exhaustion but my mind was racing, each thought dragging me away from sleep. My head was spinning by the time I was ready to open my eyes again, what dragged me to the surface of subconsciousness was the faint smell of spice and citrus that starkly lit up the damp air.

"It's a long drop Initiate," Eric's velvet voice tickled the back of my neck and sent shivers down my spine. I thought I'd be too tired to be affected so much; I thought wrong.

"Honestly, I wouldn't mind it right about now," I sighed, pressing my forehead against the cool metal of the bridge. I felt his eyes burning a hole in my shoulder so I looked at him sidelong, with tired eyes. His icy eyes softened, if only a microscopic amount.

"_Daunt-" _He started,

"Dauntless don't give up I know. I haven't given up I'm just taking a breather. Or are Dauntless above _that_ too,"

"What's this about," Eric sat down beside me. I didn't miss the fact that he got down on my level, making us equals. "Is it Paul," so, he'd noticed. I sighed, and watched my exhaled breath float through the thick dewy night.

"Yes," I looked up at him. Catching, a moment too late, something in his eyes that looked wicked.

"Relationship troubles," He asked tightly, his contempt suffocating his nonchalance.

"The relationship is the trouble," I relented.

"How so," I could hear the one thing I'd've never expected from Eric, caution.

"I didn't know there was, nor did I want a relationship, he just sort of stuck me in the middle of his made up one. That to me is pretty troubling,"

I looked up at Eric through my eyelashes and saw his jaw click. He must've felt my eyes on him though because he looked down at me, intensely, his eyes burning with something.

"Did he touch you," I choked on my own surprise. He was _concerned_? Damn, this really was a night of firsts.

"Only a little, and don't worry Mama Bear I can handle it," I scoffed taking in the already seething guy beside me. "I didn't join Dauntless to have someone else fight my battles for me. So lay off or I'll lay you to waste,"

My threat was apparently amusing because Eric told me he'd back off. He also commended me on being so bold, but I think that was a thinly veiled warning to keep me in check. He was still calling the shots. I knew that because right after he told me I was bold he told me to go to bed or he'd make a point of seeing me in the morning. Shivering I padded off in the direction of the rooms, remembering the last time I'd been woken up by him. Not pleasant.

I felt better when I sunk into my mattress for the second time that night, and sleep came to me more soundly than I'd ever slept before, but I supposed that had a lot to do with my late night chat with 'Mama Bear.'


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer/ AN: New Chapter! Yay! I just wanted to say before I forgot, again, how lovely all your reviews have been. It's amazing you are all fantastic, and if you haven't left a review yet/before don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you, honestly, even if you want to rip this work to shreds. I started writing in hopes to get critique and grow from that, so have at 'er. Back on track, I don't own anything recognizable and this is purely fun (and educational) for me. Enjoy!

**WARNING! Things get pretty "M" in this chapter, and I fully accept any upsets y'all might have but I stand by what I write and frankly my dears, I don't give a damn...**

I woke up to a fairly nonchalant training day ahead. We were going on "field trip," today, we were going to visit the fences that bordered our society. In truth we were going to see what Dauntless members actually do in the community. It can't all be fun and violence, Four had joked monotonously. I showered and dressed in a cotton longsleeved black top, and some comfortable black cargo pants. My hair was brushed off my face with a braid on either side, and Dhani had hassled me until I let her draw heavy kohl liner to accentuate my grey-green eyes. It actually worked, and I knew this for a fact because Paul couldn't take his damn eyes off me.

Today I wasn't taking any shit from anyone. Which incidentally meant today was the day I would end my non-existent relationship with Paul. He needed to be told, and I was finally in the mood to do the telling. I would do it without an audience though, he didn't need to be humiliated he just needed to be educated. I caught Paul's eye and left the room knowing he'd follow. I led him to the training room. It was the first place I could think of that would be empty. We were going to meet in the mess hall today, before heading out to the fences.

"Paul," I said turning around to find him quite close behind me. I put my hands up to block him before he could get any closer. His face screwed up in confusion, obviously talking wasn't what he'd had in mind. I shuddered.

"This needs to stop. You need to stop," I hesitated, my voice was gentle; an attempt at keeping this exchange harmless. "I never wanted you to kiss me, and I think the closeness you've initiated should end. This is training and I need to keep my focus,"

He seemed to be taking it quite well, but I remembered that flash of malice I'd seen in him just last week and I felt a little sick to my stomach. I gulped down some air as he found his voice.

"I just thought," He sighed and started again, "I wanted you, and I wanted to find someone here to you know, ease the transition. You seemed like the perfect person to do that with," He looked to me. His eyes were bright, still hopeful. I had to shut this down quickly, harshly. Like ripping off a bandaid.

"Well now you know the truth. And you know better, so next time you want to open up to me, don't. Next time you want to put your hands on me, don't, and next time you want something, don't just take it. Ask for it Paul, and then accept the fact that they might not want the same things," I spun and left, my chest heaving up and down. I heard Paul behind me, equally breathless.

I ate little and I ate quickly. Eggs and an orange, I had oranges with everything now. I finished my food and tossed back the rest of my morning tea. Some habits die hard, and the Candor tradition of tea in the mornings, at least it was tradition in my house, came along to Dauntless with me. I got up and was joined by Halen and Nadia, Paul had just sat down at the table, two tables down from ours. I saw the group give us weary looks, I'd have to smooth that over later. With the group, I mean, not with him.

"What went wrong there," Halen laughed throwing an arm over each of our shoulders and leading us to the Train stop. His grin was as big as ever but I knew he was assessing the situation with his Erudite wit under the surface.

"I'll explain later, or maybe you could ask him. I just want to enjoy today," I sighed tiredly.

"Alright, no worries Rey-rey," Halen laughed squeezing me tight and letting go all at once. I didn't fail to notice his arm still tucking Nadia close to him. I waggled my eyebrows at the pair and bounced ahead to see Dhani. She grinned at me when I caught up to her and we sprinted the rest of the way to the train stop.

"Nice hustle Initiates," Four nodded as we pulled to a stop. He acknowledged us, tight lipped as always, but I felt an excusing tone to his greeting. He didn't hold any ill will towards last nights shameful attack.

The rest of the group joined in time and the last to join us was Eric. He looked as put together as always, but something felt off. He wouldn't be late just because. I didn't bother finding out though, if he wanted to be interrogated he would've joined Candor, and if I wanted to lead the inquisition I would've stayed there. Instead I hopped the train along with the rest of the group and waited until we were told to hop off.

"I didn't think Paul was your type," Halen interrupted my daze. "Though I didn't really think you had a type,"

"Halen leave her alone," Nadia cut in exasperated.

"I guess I haven't really given it any thought," I replied maintaining the conversation. Did I have a type? What did others think my type was?

"Personally I had a stronger guy in mind. Maybe someone like Four, you know leader material," Halen hit the nail on the head, sort of, and Nadia hit Halen on the head.

"You can't just say that Halen! He's our _trainer,_ and he's right over there," Nadia was panicking, and it was actually quite funny. Her eyes were wide and she kept checking to see if Four had noticed.

"I'm just saying, he's sexy," Halen put his hands up, as if in surrender. I just scoffed; I might not know my type, but I knew what wasn't my type. Four wasn't my type.

"Though you could be an Eric kind of girl, but I just don't see it," My heart constricted and I felt a little sick. Could one person be your type? My question answered itself, I saw his form from across the train. Picking him out from the crowd. Definitely.

We got off the train in a fairly desolate area. There were wheat fields, Nadia told me wheat, until the fence. The fence itself was Concrete up to a certain point, which was way above our heads, and then broke out into a metal cable maze. There was scaffolding and ladders patchworked through the whole maze, watch towers and guard stands, we were told. We saw one dauntless guard, he looked easy enough but there were hard set lines in his face and a handgun strapped to his thigh. It wasn't as long a visit as I'd thought it would be and we were quickly back on the train, heading towards the Factionless sector of the city.

"Don't get too close, they tend to lash out," I heard Eric's imposing voice in my ears. He was too far to feel him but I could tell the words were directed at me, and I heard his footsteps draw closer as the crowds moved on.

"Is that concern I hear," I smirked catching the glint off Eric's eyebrow piercing in the corner of my eye, making them shine. The sun was bright around him, so I had to look away. The Factionless spread around us, and Four had led the group through to mix with both the derelict dropouts and the threatening guards who kept them in their dilapidated city sector. If I ever had a shred of abnegation in me, it was screaming now. These people had promise and purpose before they failed themselves, and now we were failing them too. I would not end up like this. I couldn't.

Eric didn't even look at me, "I don't know what you thought you heard, Candor, but it was _not _concern. I train Initiates like you every year. They come, and go, and succeed, and fail, and I don't care about them. And I don't care about you. Don't confuse yourself. You're a child. What makes you think you're so damn special," My heart heaved. Why was he saying this, why was he trying so hard to hurt me. I could feel the cold ice takeover his eyes and heart again, the ice I'd only just broke through.

"because you're still here," I spat not daring to look at him. I had confidence but I feared it would leave the minute I met his eyes, "And you can't lie to a _Candor, _or did you forget that you Erudite piece of shit," I felt his temper flare, he grabbed my arm and dragged me around the corner of a building. It was a tight space, forcing intimate closeness in a very unwelcome time. He looked at me with reserved ferocity that stung and burned far more than the coldness had.

"What did you say to me," Eric seethed, squeezing where he still held my upper arm, but not enough to hurt me yet.

"You heard what I said. Dauntless don't give up, Dauntless don't back down, and they sure don't hide. You're a coward, an asshole, and definitely _not _ a Dauntless," I poured venom into every word. I wanted to hurt him, but what could my words do to him? Who was I kidding? I stormed off, but before I could round the corner I felt his grip on me again, pulling me back to seclusion.

"Regardless of what you think _Initiate_," He rasped, pressing me against the building and pinning me there with a solid forearm, "I _am _a Dauntless, a powerful one, who could switch your rank so fast it would make your head spin," My head _was_ spinning, "I advise you keep that in mind next time you strap on your combat boots and eyeliner and pretend you're one of us. Got it."

He pressed his arm into me and left before I could respond. I watched him stalk off as I caught my breath. What the _fuck _was that? He had done a complete 180 since I'd seen him last night. He was volatile and distant, I'd never been scared of him before this, even when he'd taught me that nasty lesson a week ago. It'd only been a week but it felt like forever, like a hazy, actionpacked year had gone by since I'd jumped from that rooftop. Or since I'd cut my hand in that crowded room so many days ago. Or longer still since I'd lost sleep over that horrid Test. I couldn't even remember the night I made my choice to leave, or the day I last saw my mother.

I felt empty; like everything I'd built up here at Dauntless had been taken from me and ripped apart. As I rejoined the group who were now handing out rations to the Factionless alongside the Abnegation volunteers, I could only think about the fact that I could become one of these people. And to me it seemed simpler, but I knew I could never be content with this life. Especially when I know that there is something better out there.

I swallowed my uneasiness and started hauling crates of apples to give to the Factionless. The Helpless was more like it. We kept them herded and below us, in need of our support, like animals. I felt sick by the end of it, His words playing over in my mind, blaring like an announcement you couldn't tune out. _ Pretend you're one of us, _was that what I was doing. I jumped on to the train and sat with the group in the corner, but I was secluded in my own mind.

He threatened me. _He_ threatened me. He _threatened _me. _He threatened me. _I couldn't believe it.

"Reyna! Hello are you going to answer me," Dhani's hand was waving in front of my face. I could hear her, she sounded far away, but I knew she was sitting right beside me.

"Let her just chill Dhan. She's had a long day," I heard Nadia cut in.

"That Paul thing must've really gotten to her," Forner added. Not even close.

Geoff shook me awake telling me it was time to jump off. The ride back had seemed longer than the ride out to the fences, so I'd fallen in and out of sleep. I hadn't intended to but keeping my eyes closed and pretending to sleep seemed easier than being in an emotional coma. When I'd landed, stumbling slightly but Geoff steadied me, I stalked inside and took a shower. Not even bothering to eat. I got to the bathroom and stripped down, not caring about privacy. People were already giving me space. I hit the faucet and turned it to cold and stepped under the frigid stream of water. I would be in here for a while, and I didn't want to use all the hot water in the Dauntless compound.

I wiped the black khol from my eyes and saw it stream down the drain. I wanted to wash off the still burning sensation of Eric pinning me to the wall but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, he was stuck on me. I revelled in the refreshing feeling of the cold water hitting my head like the winter rains that I loved as a child. I even hummed a bit, which I hadn't done since I started using communal showers. I reached for the soap and lathered my hair with it, humming a tune I didn't know the words or name of. I'd shaken the uneasy feeling from today just like I'd shaken the last of the soap out of my hair. I turned to rinse the soap from my eyes with my back to the stream of water and felt something solid against me.

I opened my eyes and was met with the stinging burn of soap. I was blinded but I felt an arm snake around me and then the severe shock of burning hot water pelting my back. I opened my mouth and managed a sharp scream before my mouth was filled with the same soap that was restricting my vision. Two rough hands pinned my raw shoulders against the hard tile. I kicked out with my feet, but my legs were taken and pinned roughly by two knees. I tried to hit out with my arms but his hands left my shoulders and took my wrists, leaving marks but that was not what I cared about right now, He had a piece of fabric, probably a torn shirt, that he used to tie my hands. I felt something foreign between my legs and tears started in my unseeing eyes. I knew what was coming. I flung my head out wildly and tried to headbut my attacker, my head was the only thing free. I felt a hand rip at my hair and smack my head ruthlessly against the shower tile. My head felt fuzzy and my eyes were clear for just a glimpse as the black of unconsciousness invaded my vision. I knew what was coming and it scared me more than anything.

AN: This was a shorter chapter than what I've been putting up, but as you can tell it's packed with events. _MAJOR _events. This was a huge, necessary plot piece and if it offends you, I'm sorry, but not really (If I made you feel something then I've done my job as a writer!)

Anywho, I wanted to confirm that I do have a plan for this, (It gets better :) and hope that you don't take such serious measures as to discontinue reading. That would be a shame. REVIEW! I want to know what kind of responses, reactions, requests, or even any guesses as to _What Happens Next. _ see what I did there!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer/ AN: New chapter! A cliffhanger, aren't I evil! I had a lot of fun figuring out how to leave you in the lurch and thanks to your reviews (Thank you so much) I seem to have done just that! I own nothing but the new additions to the original story. Have a fun read folks!

I woke up hours later. Actually, faded in was more like it. I expected to find myself in a crumpled heap in the shower stall, but I was safe in my bed, clothed in the things I'd worn out today. Was it a nightmare? No. The pain was too real. There were a few sleeping bodies in the dorms, but none of them were my friends, one of them was Paul. I eased myself off the bed, there was a searing pain across my back, and an even stronger pain in the back of my head. I padded out the door. I needed somewhere to assess my situation, and I was not going back into the bathroom. I could tell what needed the most attention, my head, my back, and the harsh throbbing between my legs. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I made my way down the halls. I was taking the most discreet route to the Medical Centre. I could ask them for some private attention, or at least some privacy.

I heard the footsteps moments later. They were heavy, and close behind. I felt a tear run down my cheek, and my heartbeat pick up. There was an old saying, "deer in headlights," we didn't have deer in the city but I knew now what they meant. I moved to the wall, and checked behind me. I nearly sobbed out loud when I saw the wicked grin of Paul behind me.

He picked up his pace and came to stand in front of me. I cowered back into the wall and looked past him. Not daring to meet his eyes. Not daring to cry for help.

"How are you feeling," He smirked brushing his hand down my arm and to my waist. I was choking on my tears now, not able to get air, my throat was too thick and sobs too heavy. His hand dug into my waist painfully. "I asked how you were feeling baby,"

"Why did you do this," My voice was thick but I managed to choke through those words.

"Is that what I asked you," Paul flared, his eyes held malice, the same eyes I'd seen staring back at me in the showers, mere hours ago.

"I'm in pain. You're hurting me," I sobbed through clenched teeth.

"Well you hurt me Reyna. If this relationship is going to work you need to know I don't like being told what to do," His hand trailed from my waist to down between my legs, "And from now on Reyna _this,_" He squeezed his hand and pain sparked up through my already bruised centre, "is mine." His eyes glinted with the most terrifying pleasure. "Say it's mine and I'll let you go to the medical centre,"

"It's yours," I whimpered, silent sobs wracking my body.

"What is," He demanded

"I am," I felt sick; sick and empty. Like a shell of who I once was, at least before I could pretend I was brave. Now look at me.

"Good. Now go get yourself cleaned up baby," He sent me off with a twisted smile.

"Oh and Reyna," He called after me, "If you tell anyone, I'll ruin you,"

"What's wrong," The medic dropped everything when she saw me. I recognized her from the other times I'd been in here. She recognized me as well, I could tell because she pulled me into a hug before drawing the curtains. Maybe she was all knowing, or maybe I was the typical victim, because she didn't need me to put into words what was wrong. And for that I was profoundly thankful. She examined me and gave me medication. She knew I didn't want to talk, she knew I wanted to see myself. I had a welt on my head and red scratches on my backside from where he gripped me. My back was red and achy from the hot water that had burned on impact. I had finger sized bruises in multiple places, the freshest were that waist where Paul had exacted his small torture. It was healable, and in and medical sense not the worst beating I'd gotten. But I felt naked and small, and vulnerable. I felt weak and pathetic. And the worst part was I had to keep up this front, I couldn't let anyone see this side. Especially Paul. . .and Eric.

The Medic, Cierah, asked me if I needed a bed for the night. I shook my head. It was time to face my fears, or at least live with them. I did ask her if I could use the medic centre bathrooms from now on though. She gave a warm empathetic smile and told me I could. I got food and ate it silently, the hall was empty, except for some Dauntless leaders and Four. I felt their eyes on me, but kept my head down until they eventually looked away. They were talking in hushed voices but I didn't care about what they were saying. I passed them on my way out of the hall and could tell the tensions were running high.

I went to bed next. Laying there in the dark I could hear the breathing of everyone; the snores, the sleep-talk, and all the rustles made by restless sleepers. Before the incident I would've been losing sleep over the pressure of Visiting Day, which was tomorrow, but right now I had bigger stresses to deal with. Whether my mother showed or not would mean nothing to me. Faction before blood, and the fact that she was a bitch meant I had no obligatory attachments to her now, and hopefully this feeling was mutual. Although I do hate the fact that she didn't have anyone after I left. My father had left us years ago, and that when she'd become so controlling. So Candor. I reminded her so much of him, apparently. Situations and time had made us grow apart, and I just hoped she could start fresh now that I was gone.

I drifted to sleep late that night, or early that morning, to the visions of my mother and father when I was little. My earliest memory, that I saved for special occasions and hard times. We'd gone to the City Centre, I was dressed in a black smock that duplicated the elegant version my mother wore and contrasted to the starched white shirt my father wore. I can't remember what we'd done that day, but I do remember the slate grey eyes of my father shining and my mothers brilliant smile. I remembered that we'd been happy. That was enough for me.

I slept till most people had cleared out but when I went to grab fresh clothes I could see that Paul had waited for me. Such a gentleman, I thought, dark and bitter. I changed, cringing at the way I felt his eyes on me. I wore long sleeves and long pants. I left my hair down around, and in my face, just in case I saw my mother. I left with Paul trailing behind. He caught up to me as we walked and wrapped his arm around my waist. I shied away from him but he pulled me close, flush to him. I let him lead me to the mess hall and sat down beside him at our group's usual table. I got a few odd looks, but I put on my brightest smile and met their eyes. I could get away with minimal damage if I played along, you didn't have to be Erudite to be smart about shit like this. I ate eggs and engaged in small talk, Nadia was nervous about seeming her mum and hoped her brothers came to visit as well, Halen wanted everyone to see his mum and sister. Geoff only had a dad to please, where Dhani only had an older brother who had left three years before she did to another Faction, both her parents had disowned them when they left, but they kept each other. Forner had a Dauntless sister who'd been waiting to see him, but his parents were dead.

"I want you to meet my parents," Paul told me, loud enough for the whole table, and tables beside ours to hear. "They'll love you," He snuggled me into his chest and I pretended to be shy of his affections, and not disgusted by them. I made sure to keep my mouth full throughout breakfast, I even got myself a piece of cake after I'd finished to make sure I didn't have to answer anyone's questions or contribute to conversation. We left the table to find our respective families and Paul even let me search for my mother while he looked for his family.

I could spot my mother from a mile away, her poised figure and severe beauty made everyone stare, even in the Dauntless compound her vividness was a lot to take in. She looked as she always did, put together, with a tight bun and crisp dress. Her emerald eyes shone as she took me in, a ghost smile on her face. Then I saw the calculations, how she assessed me from the ground up; my clothes, my hair, my face, were they good enough? Did I pass the test?

Apparently I did, she pulled me close and wrapped me in an awkward embrace. She was still as cool as ever.

"How have you been darling," She asked politely not meaning it. If she'd really cared she'd be able to tell something was wrong, I wasn't that good a liar.

"Good. They do things differently here; I like it," I smiled and felt someone behind me.

My mothers gaze darkened, still beautiful, but now closed and cruel as well. I tensed up and unintentionally shrunk myself down.

"May I help you sir," My mother quipped.

"No. I'm just checking in. I'm one of your daughters trainers," I heard Eric's voice behind me. My mother looked from him to me, I could sense her calculating. I felt the palm of Eric's hand on my shoulder. I fought myself from leaning into his touch, it was so different from Paul's. I didn't forget the fight we'd had though. I looked up to him, seeing him as calculating as my mother. A match made in heaven, I scoffed. Apparently audibly, because both Eric and my Mother looked to me.

As I met Eric's eyes I felt something change and his hand leave my shoulder. He looked down at me; he hadn't forgotten the fight either.

"I'll get back to my rounds, have a nice visit. Reyna, You mother is quite stunning," Eric said coldly, and I could tell it was not a compliment, "I can tell you're your mother's daughter,"

Eric left and I caught my mother looking at me. I made eyes with her and she dropped it.

After a quick, and tense, catch up with my mother she left. Claiming she had things to tend to, but my mother always loved to rant about the workloads she took on so I knew she was lying to me. Even though I was loosing my old Candor self with every day at Dauntless I could still tell the liars from the honest. My mother wasn't Candor born, so I caught her telling lies on occasion. She was a seamless liar, but I knew that she'd just altered her tells and not her morals.

I slipped away through the crowds and into the training room. Paul was probably looking for me back in the Pit. The thought of cozying up and meeting his family sickened me. I didn't want to shake the hands of people so blissfully unaware of the psychopathic son they'd raised, or the kind of people who knew they'd raised a monster and just pawned him off on someone else. Either way, I didn't need to meet my attacker's loved ones.

I decided to let out some frustration, the pent up feelings and tension I felt. It was time to let loose, and I did just that. Working up to the punching bags I drove myself through a full workout. One that would put Eric's to shame. I found it easier than it'd first been to regulate my breathing. I could do more reps than when I'd started Dauntless training, and I did. I stretched through my core, which was something we often skipped at Dauntless. Then I skipped rope, which is actually more strengthening than I'd first thought. After that I worked through situps and pushups; it was as if I had Eric in my ear, yelling and pushing me to my breaking point and then over the edge.

I fell flat against the mats. The same mats that I'd spilled my blood on, that I'd spilled others blood on. I felt my arms ache and my legs quiver, but for once it was a sweet pain. One that kept me grounded and drove me further. I wasn't done. I rolled to my side and dragged a bag into the centre of the ring. I needed to beat something, and since Paul wasn't available, I had to substitute a weighted bag. I brushed the hair off my face, it was stuck with sweat, like I'd been caught in the rain. I pulled it into a bun and stripped my longsleeve shirt. Who cares who sees me. I'd already been stripped of my dignity and virginity. Who cares what anyone thinks of me now. I know that no one can ever hurt me as much as I've been hurt. And I know that I will never let that happen again.

Tears started in my eyes and I felt myself detach from the real world. In my mind the bag in front of me turned into the hulking form of Paul. I felt the ghosts of his arms around me, pinning and pulling and pressing. I'd never been so scared as I'd been then, even now I felt my heart pick up and my muscles tense. I took my fighters stance. One foot in front of the other, arms strong in front of me. I struck out once, twice, three times, with all my strength. I kicked. I kicked again; I kicked until my foot was raw and bloody. I couldn't feel it, I was too busy feeling angry, feeling broken and like breaking things all at once. I punched again. _Jab, Jab. Jab, cross. Right hook, right hook. Left hook, jab, jab, cross. Cross, left hook. _I punched rapidly, barely breathing. Every punch was strong enough to KO. I knew because I'd been on the receiving end of punches this strong. The bag was swinging, which was something I'd never accomplished before, but I was too busy to feel pride. I kept punching, until my knuckles were torn. Until the bag was torn. At that point I was done.

Drenched, drained, and satisfied. I grabbed the bag and melted into it. Resting my slick forehead against the sticky bag. I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath. The air was damp, and it seemed to cling to my lungs, but it was enough. I slid to the floor, my legs burning, and sprawled out across the mats. My eyes were closed and I could still see the swinging bag, as if it were painted on my eyelids. It was exactly what I'd needed. The medics prescribed some pretty good medication, but that was the best cure I'd gotten so far.

I was lost in my thoughts; I could feel the smile pulling at my cheeks. My first smile since the incident. I was wondering if I'd ever have feelings that a workout couldn't work out when I heard it. The slow clapping, it seemed sarcastic and brash, if clapping could even display such things. I felt my chest constrict. I'd thought I was alone. I'd been sure.

"You might be ready to keep up with me Candor," I noticed the dark shadow move into the light and the damp air come alive with the clean smell of spice and oranges. Eric. "Who knows maybe you'll even pose a challenge,"

"I'm a challenge now? I thought I was just a pretender," I sighed, too tired to add a bite to my words. "I thought I was alone,"

"It's a workout room in the _Dauntless _compound. Did you honestly expect to be the only one to use it," Eric mocked. I looked up at him through one eye, he was dressed in workout clothes that clung to his chest very nicely. I felt my regulated heartbeat pickup and hated myself for it.

"Well feel free to knock yourself out. I would give it a shot but I'm spent for the day, and maybe the day after that too,"

Eric laughed at this, a full laugh that resounded through me. "You Initiates never pace yourselves,"

"You were an Initiate too Mr. High-and-mighty," I hauled myself up to a sitting position, "Besides I had a few things to work out and _Dauntless _never give up,"

"What could you possibly need to workout that cost you your feet, knuckles, and my punching bag," Eric looked down at me. I couldn't see the concern in his eyes but I knew it was there.

"You don't care, remember. And I'd like to keep what's left of my privacy private,"

"Says the girl who talks to guys topless," Eric pointed to my black sports bra, "not that I care,"

"For someone who doesn't care you certainly notice quite a bit," I smirked.

"I was an Erudite, I can't help it," he shrugged smirking right back.

"Are you sure you're not still and Erudite, _Smart-ass_,"

"Watch your mouth _Candor_,"

"This is the Dauntless in me,"

"How so," Eric cocked his head to the side. Erudite.

"I'm the only Initiate in this group brave enough to insult you,"

"Touché," He conceded, "but still watch your mouth,"

"You're watching it enough for the both of us," I smirked, noting the way he never looked away.

"I'm too distracted for that," He smirked, His blue eyes consumed me. Maybe I should've kept my mouth shut.

"What," I frowned; confused.

"You're still topless," Eric's smirk reached a full on grin and I saw his eyes leave mine and sweep over me. I felt something deep in my abdomen. Something I'd never felt before, and something completely different than what I felt with Paul. Was this what it feels like to be turned on? More importantly, was Eric serious? I didn't think I wanted to know the answer. This was all feeling a bit too dangerous for me. My bravery stops here.

"Well sorry to disappoint but you'll never see the rest," I stood up and ignored the pain in my muscles. I'd have to take another one of the painkillers Cierah gave to me.

"Now, I'll leave you to work out your frustrations," I began to walk out the door, and almost made it before I heard him call after me.

"Reyna, I saw the burns and bruises," I winced and left the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer/AN: Alrighty then.. Not to happy with this chapter, but I'll let you be the judge, let me know what you think. Is it rushed? Am I missing something? Are the characters actually IN character? Review if you think it needs tweaking, or even if it doesn't. If you've never left a review before there's a first time for everything. And if you frequently leave reviews (or have left one before :) I love hearing from you so feel free to leave another. I own only the unrecognizable bits! And as always… Enjoy!

After my verbal sparring with Eric I went to the Medic centre to shower off and change my clothes. I pulled on my favourite black t-shirt that I'd gotten at the beginning of Initiation and it enveloped my sore muscles in a cottony hug. A hug which was well deserved and definitely needed. I felt famished, and unsurprisingly so as I'd just burnt through enough calories for a week, so I headed to the mess hall for a meaty burger and big helping of cake. Yet all through this I couldn't help but think about what Eric had said to me,_ Reyna, I saw the burns and bruises_, I didn't know what exactly he saw or even if he'd press the matter further. I wasn't even sure if we were on good terms, bad terms, or any terms at all. He had me guessing, and second guessing, and triple guessing. What was happening? What was going to happen? I HAD NO CLUE. And it drove me crazy; nearly as much as the rest of him did. I was in a very bad situation here.

Paul found me in the Pit. I was mulling through the crowds, trying to blend in, to hide from him. He pulled me away from the comforting noise of the rowdy Dauntless and into a dark secluded hallway. He put my back against the wall, a thick arm on either side of me. This was a familiar position, one I didn't want to be in.

"I missed you today," He smiled, but I could see the monster behind his eyes.

"Me too, missed you I mean," I decided to play it safe, to tell him what he wanted to hear.

"Bullshit. Don't lie to me Reyna, it hurts," Oh shit. Think fast. Think _fast_.

"I was looking for you," I lied, pulling my hands reluctantly up to his chest.

He smirked darkly, "Were you looking for me in the shower," He ran a hand through my still wet hair. _Shit! _I had to get out of this.

"I know you're lying to me. But I also know you're sorry so I'll let you make it up to me," My heart constricted and released again. That was too close.

"Come to bed with me," Paul pressed himself close to me and ran his hand down my side.

I had to choke down my fear and repulsion. He pressed on, "I've missed you. Come to bed,"

"No," I breathed, wishing I had one of the throwing knives from the training room.

"Are you sure you want to say that to me," Paul flared, "I don't want to have to hurt you,"

"No I mean, we can't do anything tonight," I carried on hastily, "I still hurt from last time,"

"Alright I'll see what I can do," Paul grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers uncomfortably through mine. Leading me towards the dorms. It was late enough that most people would be asleep; most likely how Paul had wanted it.

That is how I found myself awake at three am, halfway across the room from my bed, Paul's heavy arm encircling me and holding me forcefully to him. I was able to save myself from _sleeping with_ Paul again, but had to actually sleep with him to save myself from a beating.

I needed to get rid of him, but lying here in the dark I realized that I'd never be able to kill him or anyone else for that matter; I wasn't ruthless. I wished I was, at least for the day so I could deal with my problems without batting an eye and be done with it. But alas, I was stuck here, in the arms of a psychopath who "_didn't want to have to hurt me," _and I was unable to even think of killing him, though I wished I could.

I don't know at what point I fell asleep that night, or early morning, but I definitely remember the point I woke up. It was when Four and Eric made a loud entrance and demanded everyone up. It was when Eric looked me dead in the eyes, confusion and something else were carved into the icy blue. It was when Paul pulled me closer and all the heads in the room swiveled round to view our seemingly sweet coupling. From the outside it probably looked scandalous, if they only knew the half of it.

I was the first out of bed. I hauled out of the covers and stormed over to my bunk. Pulling on new pants, I'd slept fully clothed, and shaking out my mussed curls. I heard Halen call out,

"What's wrong Rey, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed," He grinned proud of his jab, "Or on the wrong bed entirely," Dhani added, causing the whole room to erupt in laughter.

Well, mostly the whole room, Eric, Four, and I were all straight-faced or scowling.

"You're just jealous," Paul laughed from across the room. I wanted to scream. To tell them all the truth. If only this were a room full of Candor.

"Initiates, get up and get dressed. We've got a big day ahead," Four addressed the room, "You'll be starting the second round of Initiation. The emotional round. We'll meet in the mess hall in five. Paul and Reyna will you come speak with us outside please," It was formal and stiff speech, the kind I expected from Four, but there was a layer of severity and leadership to it that made me halt. This wouldn't be good.

"I hope you know that though the room is to be shared the beds are not," Four scolded once we were out of earshot. I scoffed, like I needed to be told not to do this again.

Eric remained silent; staring us down and calculating like only a former Erudite can.

"I would also like to remind you that Initiation is taken very seriously here at Dauntless. Five of you were sent home just three days ago; and unless you'd like to join them you'll refrain from whatever seems to be going on here,"

Paul huffed beside me, glaring at the two trainers in front of us, but I almost didn't hear him, I was remembering the desolate faces of the five Initiates who'd left us. I hadn't known any of them, but that didn't make it any less hard to forget the, as much as I'd tried.

"Are you even listening Candor," Eric reprimanded. He was in a foul mood this morning.

"Yes. Trust me it won't happen again; _Candor's honor,_" I glared at him.

"Good," Eric glared right back. He'd had much more practice at being menacing than I had, but it still had no effect on me. It was Paul, brooding and guiltless beside me that scared me more.

Eric traced his finger under the hem of my running shorts and lifted the fabric to show my thighs. Which were still scared from Paul's shower attack.

He looked me dead in the eyes, "Make sure it never happens again," My breath hitched in my throat. _He knows._

The second stage of initiation was undoubtedly emotional. We were in a room full of chairs, Dauntless born initiates sitting stoic on one side and the transfer initiates one the other. There was a door on the far wall that lead to a mysterious room. Four and Eric would call us back about fifteen minutes apart, though some took longer than others. My stomach was in knots and I wasn't the only one. We were all feeling the inescapable pressure and anticipation of our names being next on the list. All the initiates that had gone in so far had come out with tears streaming down pale faces. Though the ones who didn't cry had it worse, they were like the Factionless who dabbled in morphine for a bit too long; pale and shaking, as if they were afraid to go out into the sun.

They kept calling people back and sending them away. I kept watching, on the edge of my seat. My heart throbbing for everyone who came away from the door, except Paul of course. Like Nadia, my heart just ached for her when she came out of that torturous room. Tears stained her face, which had lost it's Amity glow, when she became a sallow, frightened version of herself. And again minutes later when my heart sank again when I saw the once fearless Dhani come out doubled over and terrified. Guiltily I was frightened for myself; if Dhani, the epitome of bold and brave could break down, I'd be wrecked. Though I had been living a nightmare for the past few days, maybe I would surprise myself.

My name was called, I was the eleventh person called. I stood up with shaking legs and wiped my sweaty palms on my running shorts; it didn't help. I walked past people nervously waiting their turn, each experiencing nerves in their own way. It was actually quite interesting to watch, but right now I had other things on my mind. Like what was behind that door.

It was an odd machine, the same one that I'd seen on my Test day. although this set up looked a little different; there were two chairs and a screen for the viewing pleasure of Four and Eric. I assumed I'd have to go into a simulation again, but would it be the same one? I hoped not, it took me a while to recover last time. _I would soon find out anyway_, I reminded myself.

"Well Reyna looks like it's time to face your fears," Four says to me, motioning for me to take a seat in the chair. It was uncomfortable but that was to be expected.

"What," I questioned, feeling much younger than my sixteen years. Eric remained silent.

"This is a simulation serum," Four explains holding up a syringe of gooey liquid, "it is designed to tap into your fear centre in your brain and create an appropriate fear landscape. You may have five or more deep fears, today we will be focusing on one, and by the end of the week hopefully you'll have worked through a majority of them. Before you ask I'll answer, you can work through a fear landscape by facing your fear, or if that's not an option you can try to regulate your heartbeat enough to trick the machine into thinking you're calm. Understand,"

I did, I guess, but what I didn't get was what the screen was for. The woman who'd overseen my Test didn't have a screen. Did she? I can't remember, anyway it wouldn't have been the same; they were talking about witnessing my darkest fears? I didn't even know what those were. That's not true actually, I know at least one.

"Why are there screens," I asked feeling anxious under their collective questioning gaze.

"It's so that we can see what you see while you're under," Four explained simply.

"Why, Candor, are you scared," Eric taunted. Perhaps his attempt at lightening the mood would've worked better if he hadn't been scrutinizing my response at the same time.

"No," I lied, "But you will be, it's a dark place up here," I challenged, motioning to my brain.

"I'm looking forward to it," Eric smirked.

"Alright," Four cut in curtly, "I'm going to put you under now. Remember breath and keep control," He slid the needle through my skin and into a vein, I sucked in a sharp breath; already afraid. The room around me blurred away, like I was melting but instead of feeling heat I felt a cool spread through my body. I don't remember the last thing I saw, everything had faded to black too quickly. I was in complete suspense, there was nothing around me. No sounds, smells, nothing to feel, and nothing to taste, just black all around me. _I was scared of the dark? _

_That didn't feel right. I'd never been afraid of the dark. _I turned in my place, looking for anything that might explain or make sense. My heart was slow, I didn't feel the adrenaline that I usually felt. Well that was until I heard it.

"I can't find you baby," Paul's voice rang out in the darkness. "where are you," My heartbeat spiked. If I'd been older I would've had a heart attack. I didn't have time to focus on that, Paul's voice was getting closer.

"I don't like you hiding from me," Paul raged like a bull fresh out of a cage. "It hurts me baby,"

His voice was right in my ear that time. I whirled around and suddenly found myself blinded by light and burned by scalding water. Paul's arms wrapped around me and tossed me across the room. I screamed out loud, but he was on me and slamming my mouth shut violently before I could defend myself. He pressed his full weight upon me and I could feel him ready to take me again. _This wasn't happening. _I thrashed and kicked as he struggled to take off my clothes. _I wasn't unconscious this time_. It was more demoralizing than I could've imagined. I screamed and cried and writhed under him but he was too overpowering. No matter how hard I fought.

_Breathe, _Four's words hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed to get out of this and obviously what I was doing wasn't working. I had two options; to regulate my breathing as this nightmare plays out, or fight back and win. I chose the latter.

Paul had now successfully ripped off my shirt, it lay in ruins by his knees, that was useless. I needed to think fast before my time ran out. I scanned the area, my eyes watering from the brightness of the room. Paul had discarded his shirt and was now working on ridding me of my pants. I needed to stop that from happening. Every layer he removes is one more step closer to the unthinkable. I had heavy combat boots, but I doubt I could reach those stealthily enough and then I'd still have to overpower him. _Think Reyna. Take a step back, figuratively, come on! _

My thought process was interrupted by the sound of Paul's belt being pulled from it's loops. _Shit! I was done for. _Paul tossed his belt aside and resumed removing his pants. _The belt! _I looked to the side and found it out of reach, but I could easily solve that. I thought back to the fights we'd done, Paul was strong but he was slow. I had speed and if I could use it I'd have him.

I got my mouth around his forearm and bit down hard. He instinctively recoiled allowing me time to roll and grab the belt. I couldn't stand in the time it took for him to recover, but I didn't need to. I drove the belt down hard across Paul's back, hearing the snap of leather against skin. Paul yelled out in pain, and I drove the belt down again. This was the revenge I was capable of getting and intended to get it. Paul swiped out to try and knock me down but I moved aside and whipped the belt across his face.

"You hurt me Paul," I seethed, "You fucking psychopathic asshole. You fucking hurt me." Tears threatened to drown me as I brought the belt around his neck, squeezing until I couldn't see the manic light in his eyes. He was dead. I fell to the side, not able to look at the body and sighed out in relief. My chest was heaving and I felt drained, in every sense of the word, but I was smiling. I was finally rid of him.

The ground around me seemed to slip away and all of a sudden the room got more opaque; like a drawing that was somehow brought to life. I felt the clinical uncomfortability of the metal chair I'd been in, I felt the thickness to the serum still clouding my mind, and most distressing, I felt the eyes of Four and Eric. They seemed to burn through my skin, making me physically shy away.

Four looked like he'd seen a ghost. My fear had hit close to home, and it didn't take my Candor ability to read people to notice. It was his eyes, they were looking at me but seeing something entirely different. It made me feel as if I'd done something horrid, as if I'd actually killed someone. It was a feeling I never wanted to feel again.

Eric on the other hand was furious. I'd seen him various shades of pissed off, but this one was above all others. His chest was heaving, a good look for him, and his eyes were alight with a vehement flame. He looked at me with such flaring anger that I thought I'd combust, but at the same time I knew the anger wasn't directed at me. I just stared at him, wishing he hadn't seen that.

When he spoke his voice was dangerously low and contained. "Was that real," barely above a whisper. Tears pricked my eyes, I didn't want to answer.

"Was that real!" Eric yelled throwing his chair across the room, the crash making me jump. Four seemed to shake off his trance, and was now looking at me with saddened eyes. They made the tears flow freely down my cheeks. My hair was falling in my eyes, but I brushed them out of the way as I nodded. Silence saying what I couldn't. _Yes, it was real. _

"I'm going to kill him," Eric paced the floor, his pent up anger releasing itself in such a controlled way. "I'm going to kill that slimy, two-faced, little shit," I felt Four's hand on my shoulder; he was the more reasonable of the two. But reasonable wasn't going to solve my problems right now.

"Eric," I sighed, drying my eyes, "You can't do anything, what's done is done,"

"Bullshit," Eric flared, "He had his hands all over you this morning; that didn't look very _done _to me," He was still pacing.

"I don't want you to do anything," It was half true.

"Why are you protecting him," Eric yelled facing me, "He _raped_ you,"

It was as if I'd been slapped. My cheeks stung with the hot tears that were rolling down them. Eric's mouth was opening and shutting with no words daring to come out.

"Don't you think I know that," I shook my head.

"I'm sorry," his voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know," I nodded, as a former Candor I could tell he meant it. Four was leaning awkwardly against the wall.

"We should do this later. We still have people to get through," Business as usual. "Other than the obvious shock, you did well in your fear landscape,"

All I could do was nod. I gave one last look at Eric, who was running his hands across his face and over his hair, and left. Well that went well, sarcasm dripped from the thought like water from a leaky faucet. I passed by the people who still needed to go, Paul was among them and I couldn't help but smirk. He'd have a tougher time than most I expect.


End file.
